Mercedes McNab: Misty

Hatchet

Misty

Misty: Are you sure the number is 911?
Jenna: What else would it be, dumbass?
Misty: Well how should I know if it's the cell, maybe you have to type in a different area code.

Jenna: Seriously Doug, I can't work with that. I'm a professional actress. I went to NYU.
Misty: [laughs]
Jenna: What's so funny?
Misty: Like anybody's ever even heard of that.
Jenna: New York University?
Misty: Never heard of it.

Jenna: [Misty has her phone out] Who are you gonna call? Daddy?
Misty: Shut up, you nasty bitch! I'll call the police and they'll send someone!
Jenna: Who?
Misty: The cops! Duh!
Jenna: [in disbelief] The police are gonna send the cops? They're the same thing!
Misty: No, they're not! There is a difference!

Misty: [unfamiliar with New Orleans, dialing cell phone] Are you sure the number is 9-1-1? If it's the South, maybe you have to type in a different area code.

Misty: [on finding out that the so-called producer, who was making her pose topless, was really a phony] Slimeball! I can't believe I've fallen for their phony stories 3 times now.

Misty: [after hearing the legend of Victor Crowley from Marybeth] Do you believe that Victor... whatever story?
Shapiro: Absolutely not. I don't trust anyone around here. I mean, these people sleep exclusively with their own families.

Shawn: [driving the tour bus] If you look to your right, you'll see the famous cemetery.
Misty: [looking out left window] I don't see anything.

Ben: [when they find 2 sets of I.D.s in Shapiro's wallet] Samuel M. Barrett; Whitman Diagnostics, Senior Marketing Manager... Doug Shapiro; Producer, Director.
Jenna: That asshole! I flew all the way down here from New York and he... AH!
Misty: So he didn't really work for Bayou Beavers?
Ben: I'm thinking no.
Marcus: Dude must pretend he's a producer to get his own collection.
[to himself]
Marcus: Good idea.
Misty: That pervert! Why are all men such slime? I can't believe I've fallen for this shit 3 times now!

Marybeth: My daddy and my brother went out hunting on this river two nights ago and they never came back. The cops said they're probably just off on a bender or something somewhere, but I know that isn't what happened.
Shawn: So you go on a ghost tour? How does that make any sense?
Marybeth: Well, 30 bucks for a boat ride was a hell of a lot cheaper than getting my own boat, wasn't it?
Misty: That still doesn't explain the gun!
Ben: Yeah, and why her ticket was only 30 bucks!

Shawn: Are y'all ready to see something really scary? Huh? Are you all ready? Everyone who's ready say, "Oh yeah!"
[silence]
Shawn: Okay, I'm gonna do it anyway. Here we go.
[stops the boat]
Shawn: Okay, folks. I'm gonna shut the lights off for a second. And once your eyes adjust, you'll be able to see some of the ghost lights just hovering above the water over to the right at Kwaj Island.
[powers off the lights on the boat]
Shawn: [moments pass]
Jenna: I don't see anything.
Shawn: Uh, just wait 'til your eyes adjust.
Misty: They're adjusted, there's just nothing there.
Shapiro: Hey, can we get those lights going again? You're killing all my camera shots.
[suddenly, marsh vapors start materializing]
Shannon Permatteo: Jim, look! I think I see something!
Shawn: That's right! Yeah, you see? Not one, but TWO ghosts! See? I told y'all!
Jim Permatteo: Isn't that just a chemical reaction from the water and the gases?
Shawn: NO NO NO, MAN! It's the ghosts! Look!
Marcus: Nah, bro. Those are marsh vapors. I've seen this on TV.
Shawn: [frustrated] Hell, man, why'd ya even all come then? They're ghosts!
Marcus: Oh, you're right!
[pause]
Marcus: Except no.
[Marcus and Jenna laugh. Marcus looks over to see Jenna scratching her crotch; he takes his arm away from behind her on the seat]
Marcus: Dammit...