Divine en el papel de...
Divine • Babs Johnson
- Babs Johnson: Kill everyone now! Condone first degree murder! Advocate cannibalism! Eat shit! Filth is my politics! Filth is my life!
- Miss Edie: Babs, where do eggs come from?
- Babs Johnson: From little chickens, Mama. They lay them, and we eat them.
- Miss Edie: But suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Would that mean there wouldn't be any eggs?
- Babs Johnson: Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that, Mama.
- Miss Edie: But... but is it true, Babs? lf there weren't any chickens, there wouldn't be any eggs? Is that true?
- Babs Johnson: I suppose so, Mama... but there will always be chickens. You can be sure of that.
- Miss Edie: But suppose someday it happens. Suppose someday there weren't any chickens. Oh, Babs, what could I possibly do? And then the eggman wouldn't have... he wouldn't have a job. It might happen, Babs. What could I do?
- Babs Johnson: Now, Mama, that's just egg paranoia. I think you're being very silly. There will always be chickens. Why, there are so many chickens now... that we can eat some and let some of them live... in order to supply us with eggs. Chickens are plentiful, Mama. The world will never be without chickens. You can be sure of that.
- Miss Edie: Oh, Babs... IT COULD HAPPEN! IT COULD HAPPEN!
- Divine: Connie Marble, you stand convicted of assholeism! Your proper punishment will now take place. Look pretty for the picture, Connie!
- Crackers: A turd, Mama, a turd!
- Cotton: Who could've sent this?
- Miss Edie: Ahhh. A turd? Oh, a turd! Oh, Babs!
- Babs Johnson: This is a direct attack on my divinity!
- [the family ponders who could have sent Babs an obscene parcel]
- Edie, the Egg Lady: The Egg Man didn't do it, Babs! I KNOW the Egg Man didn't do it!
- Babs Johnson: Oh, I don't think he did it either, mother, now shut up and let me think, WILL YOU?
- Divine: I'm afraid our little vacation must come to an end. This must be nipped in the bud. It's already out of hand. Now we must outfilth the asshole or assholes that sent this. And then they must die!
- [Babs comes out of her trailer after a mailman knocks on the door]
- Babs Johnson: Yes?
- Delivery Boy: Miss. Babs Johnson?
- Babs Johnson: Yes, I am Babs Johnson.
- Delivery Boy: Special delivery package, ma'am. Sign here, please.
- Babs Johnson: What do you *mean*, special delivery package? There's no address here!
- Delivery Boy: Says right here, "Babs Johnson, A Trailer, Phoenix, Maryland". And you're Babs Johnson, aren't you?
- Babs Johnson: Of course I'm Babs Johnson; I *just* told you that! But there is *no* address here! This is not on any road, route, or street! And I *don't* want people on my property! So don't *ever* bring mail here again, do you understand? And the next package you bring me is getting shoved right up your little ass, can you comprehend that?
- Delivery Boy: I understand, I comprehend, I understand.
- Babs Johnson: Now you've received some new training, as you call it, and you'd better remember it! So you have exactly fifteen seconds to get off of my property, motherfucker, before I break your goddamn neck! One, one-thousand, *two*, one-thousand...
- [the mailman starts to run away]
- Babs Johnson: ...*three*, one-thousand, *four*, one-thousand! Run, you bastard, run!
- Babs Johnson: Give me more questions!
- Nat Curzan from "The Tattler": Divine, are you a lesbian?
- Babs Johnson: Yes! I have done everything!
- Babs Johnson: I'll have to change my appearance. I think I'll dye my hair another color and start dressing like a dyke.
- Cotton: Me too! I'll get a crew cut.
- Babs Johnson: Do you solemnly swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth?
- Crackers: Sure mama, I wouldn't shit ya.
- Cotton: Let's move to Boise, I always wanted to go there!
- Babs Johnson: Boise, Cotton? Why, that might not be a bad place!
- Crackers: Were you ever there?
- Cotton: Only once, we robbed a transit bus there, remember?
- Babs Johnson: I remember, the number 42!
- Cotton: [Babs serves her family a steak she has shoplifted from the market by concealing under her dress between her legs] Mmmm, Babs, smells delicious!
- Babs Johnson: Thanks, Cotton, it should. I warmed it up downtown today, in my own little oven.
- Babs Johnson: [singing] Round, round, round I go, Down, down, down I go, In that spin, that fabulous spin that I'm in...
- Divine: Connie and Raymond Marble, you have breathed your last breath. You have sighed your last sigh. You are no longer alive.
- Mr Goldstein: Is there no wrong?
- Divine: There is right and there is wrong. I have never been wrong Mr Goldstein!