Creepshow III

I rarely write comments on IMDb, but it is 3 o'clock in the morning, and I have to comment on the terrible film I just watched--Creepshow 3. When I first heard that a new Creepshow was being made, I thought that might be cool, but then I heard the original players were not involved. Then, I saw the trailer, which was terrible. Yet, I decided to give it a chance.

I will admit that it was not unenjoyable--just not good. The special effects were fun, and the production values of the filming were not bad. Yet, the animation at the beginning and ending of the film are terrible and amateurish. They should not have used that opening segment with animation. The movie has no relation to Creepshow except that it is an anthology. There was nothing scary, and there were almost no night scenes--everything was lit. The stories made no sense most of the time and seemed absurd (the first story with the remote--why was the remote changing realities? Was it only that family? Why did the girl turn hideous? The doctor said it looked like her insides, but what had she done to deserve this "punishment" since her family was more obnoxious? What was the purpose of the rabbit? Then, I questioned if the remote could change things, why didn't the doctor use the remote on his wife's corpse?) That was just the first story. Even though the stories connected, the chronology did not work. For example, Alice was eating the wedding cake before she turned into a rabbit, but the doctor picked up the cake after Alice was turned into a rabbit. Those logical holes were all over the place. Absurdity is a part of horror, but these had no connections that made any sense. They often led into weak endings. Also, why did no one question what was happening to them? Oh well, it was mindless, and I won't watch it again, but they should not have attached the Creepshow name to the film. The tone was completely off--too jokey. It needed terror. One of the actors said this was the best of the three--did he see the others?

Jim Dudelson and Anna Clavel, are pure film-making morons. They have trashed some fine franchises, (Day of the Dead, and Creepshow) Jim doesn't care, Anna is deluded and thinks she is a genius. They slapped the film together in less than 20 days with no name talent and put the Creepshow Name on it, expecting fans to just eat it. Truly, it is just a quick money grab for Jim. Since the original Creepshow and Day of the Dead are owned by Jim's family, he really must hate his family, cause those franchises are worth a lot less now... Don't buy Creepshow III, don't rent it. If you do and watch it, you'll hate yourself. Creepshow III was made by filmmakers who hate horror films and just want your money.

Creepshow is the best horror film ever made. Creepshow 2 was at least decent. This 2006 effort (I use that word kindly) is utterly useless. Containing no feel from the original, an obvious bare-bones budget, and thoroughly disappointing actors, Creepshow III (it should not be able to use the name) simply stinks. Fans of the first two should watch this only to fuel their anger or to mock. I rented this from an automated Redbox unit. (Very cool concept by the way) The rental cost only one dollar. I may have overpaid. I realize that studios and other big companies usually own the rights to film names, but some comment by King and Romero denouncing this trash would be very satisfying. Horror fans, beware of this one!

I will just start by saying that I have always enjoyed the "Creepshow" anthologies, especially as I watched parts 1 and 2 while growing up, and remembering that there were some pretty good segments in those two first anthologies.

"Creepshow 3" was nowhere near the first "Creepshow" movie anthology, little less like the second.

The stories in this third installment were not really all that interesting, and had only vague hints of horror to them. However, it was really nice the way they were interwoven with one another though.

The acting in the different segments was good though and that at least did help to lift up the overall enjoyment of the anthology.

But the anthology just didn't come off as being all that impressive, and as such it was a less than mediocre movie experience.

This is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen to this point in my life. It isn't scary, it isn't funny, it isn't even trying to be good. It is an annoying film and to use the Creepshow name should insult fans of the original films. But anyways, here are the stories:

Alice - Every time a man uses a new remote control, his daughter Alice turns into some slimy, pimply, oozing mess. Eventually she becomes a rabbit. Makes absolutely no sense and is horribly put together.

The Radio - A man buys a radio from a homeless guy and starts to hear voices coming from it telling it to steal some money and kill anyone who threatens him. Better than 'Alice', but drags on way too much.

Call Girl - A prostitute/serial killer gets more than she bargained for when she gets set to claim her next victim. This might be the best of the whole bunch, interesting twist.

The Professor's Wife - Two former students murder the professor's fiancé thinking she is a robot. Silly and pointless, but is better than the first two.

Haunted Dog - Some rude doctor gives a homeless man a hotdog that he picked off the ground. The homeless man chokes on it (I think) and dies. He then haunts the doctor until he dies. I got a few laughs from the miserable doctor played by Kris Allen, best actor in Creepshow III. Nothing special though.

And that's it. Pretty bad movie overall. What annoys me is that throughout each story when something strange or illogical happens, the characters don't react. For example when the radio starts speaking to the character, he sort of shrugs it off and starts speaking back to it like it's something normal. None of the stories make a lot of sense, and add nothing to this nothing of a horror movie.

2/10