Forajidos de Baytown

'The Baytown Outlaws' is a direct-to-DVD action movie from first time director Barry Battles. Don't let the "Direct-to-DVD" thing scare you. This one is legit. It's so gratifying to know that you can find little gems like this among all the crap that gets feed to us in the theaters (Yeah, I'm talking to you 'Oz the Great and Powerful' and 'Jack the Giant Slayer' and every Jason Statham movie made since 'The Italian Job'). "Baytown" is about three brothers who only know violence and mayhem. They live their life one mark at a time and always looking for the one last big score. They find it in smoking hot Eva Longoria. She commissions them to get back her god son from the evil clutches of drug lord Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton). Thornton plays the same character he's played over the past couple of years ('Bad Santa', 'Bad News Bears'), and I still love it. This movie is a cool blend of other films like 'The Warriors', 'The Way of the Gun', and 'Smokin' Aces'. Its definitely worth a watch and should also restore your faith in the Direct-to-DVD bin. 7.5 out of 10.

Starring names you know, ridiculous plot, action, yuks, and (best of all!) no BS social message. For mindless entertainment, far surpasses network offerings. Actors must have had a blast (pun intended) shooting this romp. It's worth watching just to enjoy bad guys (and bad girls) trying to zotz bad guys. Two vignettes during credits made me laugh. We won't see this on Oscar night, but you'll like it more than whatever wins Best Picture this year.

'THE BAYTOWN OUTLAWS': Four and a Half Stars (Out of Five)

This is one of those movies that really caught me by surprise. I had heard a little about it upon it's limited release (in theaters) but it of course wasn't playing anywhere around me and the synopsis (and lack of hype) didn't peak my curiosity in the film. It's about three vigilante redneck brothers 'for hire' who agree to help a woman get her godson back from her asshole ex. They find an assortment of crazy mercenaries after them when they rescue the boy and try to bring him back to his godmother. It stars three mostly unknown actors in the leads (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel and Daniel Cudmore) and was directed and co-written (with Griffin Hood) by an actor turned director making his feature film directorial debut (Barry Battles). The film also features some bigger stars in supporting roles like Billy Bob Thornton, Eva Langoria, Andre Braugher, Zoe Bell and Michael Rapaport but it was made on a budget of just $4 million and not given much publicity or attention at all. I loved it and think it's sure to be a cult favorite for many years to come. If you're a film nut you have to see it.

The film is set in Alabama where brothers Brick (Crawford), McQueen (Fimmel) and Lincoln Oodie (Cudmore, who you might recognize as Colossus from the 'X-MEN' movies) work for the local Sheriff (Braugher) murdering criminals, vigilante style, in order to help keep the crime rate there the lowest in the state. After botching one job and not getting paid they find a woman at their door, named Celeste (Langoria), offering the boys $25,000 to rescue her godson Rob (Thomas Brodie-Sangster) from her asshole crime boss ex, Carlos (Thornton). The brothers take the job and retrieve the kid but fail to kill Carlos as Celeste instructed them to. They then find all kinds of assassins 'for hire' after them as they try to get Rob safely home to Celeste. They oddly bond with the boy at the same time.

The movie really struck me as effective in the way it introduces it's three lead characters as disgusting villains and then instead makes you care for them, more and more, throughout the film. Their relationship with the boy was really well done and all four lead actors are really good in the film. If this movie had better backing it could easily make Crawford, Fimmel and Cudmore stars but with their charisma and talent I'm sure they can find other work to help them do that. The rest of the cast is all exceptional as well and Barry Battles really makes a name for himself with this film. For a debut effort it really is an exceptional production all around and I can't wait to see what he does next. It's got a lot of heart, it's funny, tons of excessively violent action, lots of sex appeal (including a gang of hot female biker assassins) and is just a really fun time at the movies! A lot of people will label it a cliché driven Tarantino-esque B action film but it's much more well done and creative than that gives it credit for.

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"Baytown Outlaws," is about a family of rebellious, violent, mayhem for hire brothers with twisted morals who take on a paid mission to rescue a boy from an equally twisted kingpin played by Billy Bob Thornton.

The Good. This is an action packed, pure entertainment movie. It wasn't made for its storyline, plot, or anything else of critical value, but was more of a Tarantino-esque, violence fest. Its got a lot of violence, guns, a bit of sexy appeal that only a gang of murderous biker hookers could provide, and Eva Longoria isn't in enough scenes to ruin the movie as she usually does ( see "A Dark Truth." Well, save yourself and please don't. There is a reason why Longoria has been buried in Soap Operas for so long. She is great eye candy but her acting abilities....yeah, not so much).

The Bad. A lot of the script is just plain stupid and bad. The story is lame as well. Let's face the facts though. This movie wasn't made to impress critics or win awards, it was made for action entertainment and in that regard you can ignore most of the script and storyline and just bathe in the action and violence. It was well done in that regard and for those interested in those critically acclaimed areas, don't bother watching it.

I give it a 7. I was entertained and that was the whole point of the film. The actors portraying the brothers weren't very good but they didn't have to be, and the contract killing, motorcycle gang of hookers were hot eye candy. So get out the popcorn and watch the action and violence and have fun with it. If your not into that sort of movie than you have no business watching this one.

Nostalgic for the days of Smokey and the Bandit-style redneck car chase wreckstravaganzas? Don't be, because this favorite '70s genre is back and as explosive as ever in this movie.

Celeste (Eva Longoria) has good reason to send three outlaw bounty hunters after her no-good ex-husband Carlos (Billy Bob Thornton)--he shot her three times in the gut, after all.

There is a whole lot of sexy women in this movie (Serinda Swan, Brea Grant, Arden Cho, Agnes Bruckner, and Longoria), but the only nudity comes in the form of Rose's (Zoe Bell) butt.

Celeste hires the Oodie brothers (Clayne Crawford, Travis Fimmel, and Daniel Cudmore). I can't imagine three less likely to do a job successfully. They are a laugh a minute.

Good ole boys done good.