Confessions from a Holiday Camp

I admit a certain affection for the CONFESSIONS... series of '70s sex comedy, which perfectly captured working class attitudes during that decade, much as the later CARRY ONs did. CONFESSIONS OF A WINDOW CLEANER and CONFESSIONS OF A DRIVING INSTRUCTOR are my favourites, with Askwith's professions lending themselves perfectly to a series of episodic shenanigans.

The last of the quartet is CONFESSIONS FROM A HOLIDAY CAMP, and it really is a last-ditch attempt to wring more money out of audiences. This time around, Askwith and Booth end up working at a dodgy sub-Butlins type place, where girls parade around in the bikinis a lot and end up getting into saucy encounters with a permanently befuddled Askwith.

There are some funny moments here - like the bit with Askwith in the swimming pool - but a lot of it is cringeworthy rather than amusing and the slapstick scenes are very childish. Lance Percival's portrayal of a gay guy is really awful, as are Askwith's off-colour jokes at the expense of a black woman. It's a pity the script is so poor, because there's some top totty here in the form of Liz Fraser and Penny Meredith, but they would have been better served in one of the other, better, instalments.

Due to age I missed out on the UK 1970's sex comedy boom, so have been watching movies from this genre as they make themselves available on TV. Because these aren't exactly the kind of things you would pay money to watch or go out your way to see at the cinema. As if cinemas would play this kind of thing, seeing as they are now all staffed by woke feminists in 1950's tea dresses and ironic NHS glasses. Unlike the Carry On Series, the Confessions series is less family friendly due to its content, so it doesn't get as much love. The narrative is also much more streamlined as the Confessions series basically follows the protagonist in his job role as numerous nubile women decide they want to have sex with him now and for no apparent reason. And there are plenty of opportunities as this is a holiday camp. The humour is generally around nudity in public and the fear of being caught having sex from others. There is little crude language and the sex scenes are tame compared to what can be seen on the average teenagers phone. Is it ironic that these movies did and still do have feminists frothing at the mouth, when 40 years of feminist intervention have lead to even more extreme content being normalised by the public? This is definitely a UK time capsule movie and shows a more innocent time, regardless of the "that didn't age well" comments from the virtue signallers who are looking at far worse stuff.

Confessions From a Holiday Camp, the fourth and final film to star Robin Askwith as working class lothario Timmy Lea, fails spectacularly as a comedy, the unsophisticated script resorting to embarrassing racist remarks, crass homophobic jokes, and childish slapstick in a desperate attempt to illicit giggles from its audience.

'So, if it's not all that funny, then why have you rated it so highly?' I hear you ask. The answer: the endless quality British crumpet, of course. The plot, which sees Timmy organising a beauty contest at Camp Funfrall, allows for plenty of bare breasts, some shapely female derrieres, and more bush than Hampton Court Maze. Not only does the lovely Linda Hayden, star of the first Confessions film, return to play foxy French holiday host Brigitte, but we also get sexy brunette Caroline Ellis as yummy Brummie Gladys, Kim Hardy as the camp's tasty announcer, Nicola Blackman as Blackbird, the camp's curvacous Caribbean queen (and, sadly, the brunt of the racist jokes), and busty Janet Edis as a horny MILF.

Unfortunately, there's also rather a lot of Robin Askwith's hairy ass on display, but you can't win 'em all I suppose.

I recently viewed the UK comedy 🇬🇧 Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977) on Tubi. The plot revolves around Tim Lea, now employed at a classic European summer camp, responsible for recruiting talent for an upcoming beauty pageant. His recruitment might go too far, risking the girls' withdrawal from the event over jealousy. Can Tim salvage the situation and successfully carry out the mission?

Directed by Norman Cohen (Burning Rubber), the film features Robin Askwith (Bless this House), Anthony Booth (Corruption), Bill Maynard (Oddball Hall), Linda Hayden (Taste the Blood of Dracula), and Sheila White (Oliver!).

This cheesy UK comedy leans heavily on excuses for splash nudity, full nudity, and numerous shots of naked butts. While a few scenes, like the pool sequence, offer some entertainment, the film often feels like a sequel to Meatballs with a focus solely on the ladies. Even the narration falls into the realm of average.

In conclusion, Confessions from a Holiday Camp boasts appealing ladies but lacks in the comedy department. I would rate it a 4.5-5/10 and recommend it only with the appropriate expectations.

I saw this film in 1977, aged 21, stoned, sitting up the back of the Odeon High Street Kensington, with some friends, smoking. And we laughed. We laughed a lot actually. Seeing it on DVD, in my lounge at home, aged 52, on a cold Friday night, by myself - well, surprise, surprise, it wasn't funny anymore. Not only is it of it's time but also of it's place in history. It's cheap, written without much imagination, with no real laughs and with some (by 2008 standards) cringe inducing racism and sexism. But for all that, like Carry On and Doctor films, it is remarkably easy to watch and has a fascinating British charm all of it's own. I suppose the appeal, at it's basic level - is simple. It says that even if you're ignorant, thick and ugly, you only have to smile and sexy women will fall all over you, even to the extent of lining up, five at a time, to hide in your wardrobe. If only real life were like that.