Two Virgins

To go along with John Lennon and Yoko Ono's most awful album, the two decide to make one of the worst, ugliest sounding, most pointless short films ever. Obviously, John and Yoko were madly in love with each other, but why make a movie like this? It's nothing more than two scenes of nothing, with music from the album this was named after, which sounds like a horrible, unedited version of John Lennon's much better song Revolution 9.

John and Yoko are the two virgins. There's no plot to be found, as is there no talent to be seen anywhere in the picture. I have to say, the best part was probably the white title screen that says "The Two Virgins". At least John and Yoko's music isn't played over the opening credits. This short, but overly long 19 minute film seems to consist of two parts. The first is John's face super imposed on Yoko's, so we see both of them making faces and looking around. It's almost like the didn't know the camera was on and were just standing there looking around, but that's not the case. They felt this was art...it isn't. The second part is John and Yoko slowly going towards each other and making out for about 10 minutes.

It's obvious John and Yoko were trying to make an artsy short, which they miserably failed at, and it's obvious also that the music here is there attempt at being different. It's also obvious that they could care less what others thought, but wanted everyone to know how much they loved each other. After watching this, any sane person would have wanted them to break up, if the genius of John Lennon was reduced to terrible shorts and even worse music.

This was the worst short I've ever seen, and I like Lennon and his music, but this wasn't Lennon and his music. This is a Yoko-fied Lennon with his head up his you know what making trash.

My rating: BOMB/****. 19 mins. Not rated, contains sensuality and cussing in the song.

Two Virgins (1968)

** (out of 4)

This is a pretty strange short film from John Lennon and Yoko Ono that I guess you'd compare to the short films of Andy Warhol. The film starts off with Lennon and Yoko's heads being super imposed with strange visuals continuing from there. The second part of the film has them making out like they were on the cover of their album "Two Virgins" but here they have their clothes on. I haven't heard the original album this film goes to but the only sound in the movie comes from this album and I've been warned that it was a weird album and I must say this short got me interesting in listening to it, although I'm really not sure how much of it I could take since it's just various sounds. As for the film, it's not too bad but it's nothing special either. I think it's certainly a strange little movie that has a surreal nature to it and on that level it works but simply being strange isn't enough for me to say it was an entertaining film.

This is basically a "video" to accompany 19 minutes of music from John and Yoko's TWO VIRGINS album. I haven't played my copy in a few years, so I can't tell you which side it is. For the first ten minutes or so, we see Lennon's and Ono's faces superimposed upon each other's (much like the record label on SOMETIME IN NEW YORK CITY a few years later). Then we see John and Yoko touching each other, hugging, and kissing for about ten minutes. They are clothed, unlike on the TWO VIRGINS album cover. The film is in color and seems to be have been shot in a lovely outdoor area in the midst of woods and gardens, with a lovely blue sky. Like the album the music came from , this probably meant more to the people involved in making it than it will to anyone watching it. Lennon does smile a lot, and I'm glad he was happy. Collectors will want to see this, but you might want to see it and then pass it along to another fan as it isn't the sort of thing you'll watch very often.