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Mr_PCM

feb 2004 se unió
DANGER! SITE STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION! BEWARE FALLING WORDS! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!/YELLOW]

Well, Good Day to you gentle viewer, and welcome to the profile page of:[evil9]
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\______ (____ / __/|__| (____ /__|___| /
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\______ \ ___________ _______ __|__| __| _/____
| ___// __ \_ __ \/ _ \ \/ / |/ __ |/ __ \
| | \ ___/| | \( <_> > <| / /_/ \ ___/
|____| \___ >__| \____/__/\_ \__\____ |\___ >
\/ \/ \/ \/ [/pre]


I'm a complete movie nut, and as there will be a movie theme (as well as buffy) running through my profile. To start things off i will have a game going, with classic quotes from films. For those playing the home game, see how many you know and PM me with your answers - anyone who gets them all right will get a special mention.
Let's get started!

******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 1******
I COULDA BEEN A CONTENDER, I COULD'VE BEEN SOMEBODY!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 1******/RED]

****NEW****
Oh dear, I have joined the ranks of the harry potter fans! Although I have enjoyed the books for awhile now, it wasnt until, after pre-ordering the Half Blood Prince, and re-reading the Goblet of Fire and Order of the Phoenix again, that I realised that I love the books, and I couldn't wait for HBP to arrive. Poor Royal Mail, laid on 150 extra vans on saturday to deliver them all on time, and I got mine before I woke up - the earliest the postman has ever been! Anyway I read the book, all 607 pages, in 6 hours!
I had originally been reluctant to go see the first film, but having been dragged along and actually enjoyed it, I borrowed the first 4 books off my sister and read them all, twice, within a week (CoS and PoA, back to back in one day) - a feat I am both proud and ashamed of.
Anyway, having read HBP, I can't wait for the next one, though the films are no way near as good as the books!
A section for my profile on Harry Potter is coming soon, once I make some space!

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[/pre]

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 2******
YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 2******/RED]

Well well well, you've decided to check me out? I assume you all want to know about me? Well OK, a little about me:

Vital Information
Name: Paul (surname withheld)
Age:
Birthday:
Height: 5ft 10 (ish)
Weight: undisclosed, but not overweight, leave it at that!
Eyes: Blue (with glasses)
Hair: short, light brown
Location: England
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 3******
A DAY MAY COME WHEN THE COURAGE OF MEN FAILS, WHEN WE FORSAKE OUR FRIENDS AND BREAK ALL BONDS OF FELLOWSHIP, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY. AN HOUR OF WOES AND SHATTERED SHIELDS, WHEN THE AGE OF MEN COMES CRASHING DOWN, BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY. THIS DAY WE FIGHT! BY ALL THAT YOU HOLD DEAR ON THIS GOOD EARTH, I BID YOU STAND, MEN OF THE WEST!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 3******/RED]

More details? Well, for the last couple of years I have been absolutely nuts about the movies (and more recently been converted to Buffy). I am currently trying to find something to do with my newly-acquired degree related to the film world - hopefully reviewing films on tv, so look out Jonathan Ross! I seem to be addicted to buying films, and I own approximately 250 films on DVD, and the collection is growing - not a vast collection you might think, but I did only get my first dvd player just over 2 years ago. I have made it my goal in life to try and see all the so-called 'classics', though theres still a few I haven't got round to seeing - most notably dr zhivago and brief encounter - but I will soon.

I want to be a film reviewer - If you are reading, please read my reviews!
http://imdb.com/user/ur3103298/comments

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 4******
MY NAME IS MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS, COMMANDER OF THE ARMIES OF THE NORTH, GENERAL OF THE FELIX LEGIONS, LOYAL SERVANT TO THE TRUE EMPEROR MARCUS AURELIUS. FATHER TO A MURDERED SON, HUSBAND TO A MURDERED WIFE, AND I WILL HAVE MY VENGANCE, IN THIS LIFE OR THE NEXT!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 4******/RED]

I Love Star Wars now! I have currently seen Episode III: 5 times

And so, with that in mind....

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 5******
THAT BOY IS OUR LAST HOPE
NO....THERE IS ANOTHER.
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 5******/RED]
and some more....

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 6******
SOMEBODY STOP ME!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 6******/RED]

I am addicted to buying DVDs - I have bought at least 300 in only 3 years, and often I buy them when I havent even watched all the ones I have - I currently have at least 10 which I haven't watched yet. Therefore I have set up:

DVDaholics Anonymous (members so far)

Captain_Peroxide
Buffynick
Tiffanysfunnyface
Frankie_Swan
stone_fox
swede85
hazylazydays
anglee-1
ArqAlpha
Iok
SoxFan2004
jodilyn
darknicienta
annarocks25
dwayne2004-26
coolcool37
Indianna_Rose
smilesgalore

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 8******
I'LL BE BACK!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 8******/RED]

LATEST ADDITIONS TO THE LIBRARY Credit to Anglee-1 for this suggestion!

Angel Season 4
The Mummy Returns
Chicago
(HOPEFUL)NEXT ADDITIONS TO THE LIBRARY
Angel series 1 & 5;Blade Trinity; My Summer of Love;The Dreamers;Swingers

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 9******
ALRIGHT MR DEMILLE, I'M READY FOR MY CLOSE UP!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 9******/RED]

[black]MY DVD LIBRARY
(for those that are interested}

Buffy Series 1-7
Angel Series 1-4
Friends Series 1-9
10
12 Angry Men
13 Going On 30
50 First Dates
51st State, The
9 1/2 Weeks
About a Boy
Air Force One
Ali
Alien Quadrilogy
American Beauty
American Pie
American Pie 2
American Pie: The Wedding
American Psycho
American Psycho 2
Amityville Horror, The
Anchorman
Apollo 13
As Good As It Gets
Astronaut's Wife, The
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery
Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Back to the Future Trilogy
Bad Girls
Basic
Basic Instinct
Batman
Batman Begins
Battlefield Earth
Beautiful Mind, A
Being John Malkovich
Big Fish
Birth
Blade
Blade II
Blae Trinity
Body Shots
Bonnie and Clyde
Bound
Braveheart
Breakfast Club, The
Brief Encounter
Bringing Out The Dead
Brotherhood of the Wolf
Buffy The Vampire Slayer
Bully
Butterfly Effect, The
Cabaret
Carrie
Casablanca
Casino
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Charlie's Angels
Chasing Amy
Chicago
Christmas Carol
Chocolat
Cinderella Man
Closer
Collateral
Con Air
Confidence/Duel
Coyote Ugly
Croupier
Crow, The
Cruel Intentions
Cruel Intentions 2
Dangerous Liasons
Darrow
Dawn of the Dead
Day After Tomorrow, The
Deathwatch
De-Lovely
Descent, The
Devil's Advocate, The
Die Hard
Die Hard 2
Die Hard With A Vengance
Dirty Harry
Dogma
Dog Soldiers
Dogville
Donnie Darko
Dr Dolittle 2
Dracula
Dreamers
Edward Scissorhands
Embrace of the Vampire
End of Days
Enemy of the State
English Patient, The
Enigma
Entity, The
Essex Boys

Ok, I think I should break up this huge list for you with....

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 10******
YOU CAN'T WIN DARTH! IF YOU STRIKE ME DOWN I SHALL BECOME MORE POWERFUL THAN YOU CAN POSSIBLY IMAGINE!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 10******/RED]

now, back to the DVD roll-call!

E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
Eurotrip
Exorcist, The
Face Off
Faculty, The
Fahrenheit 9/11
Fantastic Four
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Few Good Men, A
Fifth Element, The
Fight Club
Final Destination
Finding Neverland
Flatliners
Football Factory, The
Forrest Gump
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Fried Green Tomatoes at the Whistlestop Cafe
From Hell
Fugitive, The
Full Metal Jacket
Gangs of New York
Gangster No 1
Ghostbusters
Ghostbusters II
Ghost Ship
Gia
Gift, The
Ginger Snaps
Girl Next Door, The
Gladiator
Go
Godfather, The
Godfather Part II, The
Godfather Part III, The
Godsend
Gone in 60 Seconds
Good Morning Vietnam
Good, The Bad, and the Ugly, The
Good Will Hunting
Goodfellas
Green Mile, The
Groundhog Day
Grudge, The
Guru, The
Hannibal
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
Harry Potter and the Philospher's Stone
Harvard Man
Haunting, The
Heat
Heathers
Heavenly Creatures
Hellboy
Henry and June
Herbie Fully Loaded
Hideous Kinky
High Fidelity
Hollow Man
Holy Smoke
Home Alone 1 & 2
Hotel Rwanda
Hot Spot, The
House on Haunted Hill
I, Robot
Identity
Independence Day
Indiana Jones Trilogy
Insider, The
Interview With The Vampire
Intimacy
In The Cut
Iris
Island, The
Jacket, The
Jackie Brown
Jaws
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Jeepers Creepers
Jerry Maguire
JFK

ok, time for another intermission for you i think!

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 11******
YIPPEE-KAY-AY MUTHAFUCKA!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 11******/RED]

and here we go again!

Johnny English
Jurassic Park
Jurassic Park: The Lost World
Jurassic Park 3
Just Visiting
Kill Bill Volume 1
King Arthur
LA Confidential
Labyrinth
Last Seduction, The
Lawrence Of Arabia
Layer Cake
League of Extraordinary Gentlement
Legally Blonde
Leon
Lethal Weapon
Lethal Weapon 2
Lethal Weapon 3
Lethal Weapon 4
Life of David Gale,The
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
Lolita
Long Riders, The
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (extended)
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
Lost Boys, The
Mad Max
Madness of King George, The
Mallrats
Manchurian Candidate, The
Man on Fire
Marx Brothers Collection, The
Mask, The
Master and Commander
Mean Girls
Mean Machine
Memento
Men In Black II
Miller's Crossing
Minority Report
Mission Impossible
Mission Impossible II
Monkey's Mask, The
Mothman Prophecies, The
Mulholland Drive
Mummy, The
Mummy Returns, The
Muppet Christmas Carol
Muriel's Wedding
Mystic River
My Summer of Love
National Treasure
Natural Born Killers
Near Dark
New Best Friend
Omen, The
Once Upon A Time In The West
One Night At McCools
Others, The
Panic Room
Parent Trap, The
Passenger 57
Patriot, The
Phantom of the Opera
Philadelphia
Phone Booth/Speed/The Siege
Pianist, The
Piano, The
Pirates of the Carribean: The Curse of the Black Pearl
Pitch Black
Planet of the Apes (2001)
Platoon
Poison Ivy
Porky's
Princess Bride, The
Private Parts
Proof of Life
Psycho
Pulp Fiction

maybe one last intermission for you, cos you are doing very well!

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 12******
FRANKLY MY DEAR I DON'T GIVE A DAMN.
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 12******/RED]

you're on the home stretch now, keep going!

Punisher, The
Quick and the Dead, The
Quills
Ransom
Ray
Requiem For a Dream
Resevoir Dogs
Resident Evil
Rio Bravo
Road to Perdition, The
Road Trip
Rock, The
Rodger Dodger
Romper Stomper
Rounders
Royal Tenenbaums, The
Runaway Jury
Save the Last Dance
Saving Private Ryan
Scarface
Scary Movie
Scary Movie 2
Schindler's List
School Of Rock
Scooby Doo
Scorpion King, The
Scream
Secretary
Secret Window
Se7en
Shakespeare in Love
Shark Tale
Shattered Glass
Shaun of the Dead
Shawshank Redemption, The
Shining, The
Sideways
Silence of the Lambs, The
Sin City
Sirens
Sixth Sense, The
Sleepers
Sliding Doors
Sleepy Hollow
Snake Eyes
Splash
Stand By Me
Starship Troopers
Star Trek: Nemesis
Star Wars Trilogy
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Sum of All Fears, The
Sure Thing, The
Swimming Pool
Swingers
Swordfish
Taking Lives
Tarzan the Ape Man
Taxi Driver
Terminator 2: Judgement Day
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
Thin Red Line, The
Thirteen
Thirteen Ghosts
Three Musketeers, The
Three to Tango
Titanic Deluxe Edition
Tombstone
Top Gun
Total Recall
Training Day
Trainspotting
Troy
True Lies
True Romance
Twelve Monkeys
Unbearable Lightness of Being, The
Unbreakable
Underworld
Untouchables, The
Usual Suspects, The
US Marshalls
Van Helsing
Van Wilder: Party Liason
Virgin Suicides, The
Waking Ned
What Lies Beneath
What Women Want
When Harry Met Sally
Whole Nine Yards, The
Wild Things
Wild Things 2
Wonder Boys
X-Men 2
XX/XY


[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 13******
GO AHEAD, MAKE MY DAY!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 13******/RED]
Miscellaneous DVDs

Star Trek TNG series 2,7
Yes Minister series 2-3
Yes Prime Minister series 1
Peter Kay Live at the top of the tower
Peter Kay Live at Bolton Albert Halls
Al Murray the pub landlord: my gaff, my rules
Robin Williams Live on Broadway
Tom and Jerry Volumes I & 2
The Complete Trap Door
The Ashes 2005: The Greatest Series
Official Review of the 2003 Rugby World Cup

and, for some reason.....

WWE Survivor Series 2001

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 14******
FEAR LEADS TO ANGER, ANGER LEADS TO HATE, HATE LEADS TO SUFFERING!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 14******/RED]

DVD to-get list - everyone has one!
Most Wanted list!

Dead Poet’s Society
Who Framed Roger Rabbit
My Summer of Love
Angel Series 5
Yes Prime Minister Series 2
Somersault
Indiana Jones Trilogy
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
The Muppet Movie
Final Destination
Star Trek Voyager - any series
Birth

and, eventually, when i have my own place i will get these cos they are great films. my borther has them at the moment so i dont need my own copy yet

Shrek 1 & 2
The Matrix
Bourne Identity & Supremacy
Pirates of the Carribean (my version is crappy)
Spiderman 1 & 2
So, thats all of them so far, though this list is in a continuous state of growth!

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 15******
SAY WHAT AGAIN! I DARE YA, I DOUBLE DARE YA MOTHERFUCKER, SAY WHAT ONE MORE GODDAMN TIME!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 15******/RED]

[ROYAL][CHEERS][ORANGE]AWARDS SECTION/ORANGE][CHEERS][ROYAL]

Voted Sandboxer of the Day on Sunday, May 15th 2005! (6 votes)[jump1] [cooldance] [cooldance2] [party] [popcorn] [royal][biggrin] [cheers]

to all those who voted for me and said such lovely things about me: thank you, i wish i knew who said them.

----"Because I just gotten to now him and he's the nicest guy I've met here"

----" as he is a really nice guy, and genuinely enjoys talking to everyone"

----"he's such a friendly newbie and he knows so much about movies"


SOTD May 28: [jump1] [cooldance] [cooldance2] [party] [popcorn] [royal][biggrin] [cheers]
Captain Peroxide 7 votes

----"cos he's a fair guy who accepts everyone"

----"he has great posts!!"

----"he is a stand out newbie"

----"i love how he posts"


1st Runner Up (5 votes) for SOTD on May 27th, thank you so much everyone I love you all.[jump1] [cooldance] [cooldance2] [party] [popcorn] [royal][biggrin] [cheers]

----"because he's my cool new friend and he rocks!"

----"He is a great person to talk to"


1st Runner Up (5 votes) for SOTD on May 30th[jump1] [cooldance] [cooldance2] [party] [popcorn] [royal][biggrin] [cheers]

Captain Peroxide 5 votes
----"he is fair and gives everyone a chance"


----"Cause he's the capitan of alot of things,no pun intended"

----"he really made a place for him on the box"


Also, 2nd Runner Up (3 votes) for SOTD on May 23rd - It's so nice to know that people like talking to me, thank you.[jump1] [cooldance] [cooldance2] [party] [popcorn] [royal][biggrin] [cheers]

----"as he is always nice, and great fun to talk to!"


Also - honourable mention for Sandboxer of the Day for May 18th,May 26th and May 29th as well! Thank you all!

----"he's such a good person to talk to"

----"he is really someone to brighten your day"


[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 16******
MY MAMA ALWAYS SAID, LIFE IS LIKE A BOX OF CHOCOLATES; YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 16******/RED]

Anyway, as a budding reviewer, check out my comments and see what you think - feedback would be greatly appreciated.

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 17******
HEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEES JOHNNY!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 17******/RED]

[black]So far the being a tv film critic thing isn't exactly going to plan, so I'm currently studying a post-grad in journalism, an looking to work for a magazine reviewing films - ideally Total Film or Empire magazine.

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 18******
YOU WANT ANSWERS?
I THINK I'M ENTITLED!
YOU WANT ANSWERS?
I WANT THE TRUTH!
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 18******/RED]

Films were intended, indeed invented, for the purpose of entertaining people, not to be pretentious, arty, intellectual or any other such nonsense. Therefore my criteria when reviewing a film is thus: Does it entertain people? Does it make them actually want to watch it? Because there is no point watching a film if you don't enjoy it - The number of so-called classic films ive forced myself to watch and found unbelievably boring its just not funny.

My list of over-rated films:

(n.b. i'm sure this list will be open to severe heckling, which is to be expected, because there is not a single film in the world that everyone likes, and neither is there a single film in the world that anyone hates)

1. Citizen Kane - now fair enough, it's technically very good, a technological breakthrough and all that, but that doesn't make it a good film - sorry, to me its a boring film, and because of it's reputation i would consider it the most over-rated film ever. That's just me though.
2. Mulholland Drive - I was just permanently confused. OK, again it looks a lovely film, very arty and all that, but how can you be entertained if you don't have a clue what's going on? Although I suppose a lot of people like that.
3. The Piano - just a load of pretentious twaddle to me.
4. The Omen - just not scary at all - but what horrors nowadays are genuinely scary?
5. The Royal Tenenbaums - meh?
6. Apocalypse Now - just so dull, so many better Vietnam films out there. Especially Platoon and Full Metal Jacket.
7. The Deer Hunter - far, far too long a film - there is a good story buried in there, but it needs a lot of work to see it.
8. The Thin Red Line - you may be sensing an anti-war film theme here, but that is not the case, there are a lot of great war films out there. This one unfortunately is not one of them, and severely needs a plot.
9. The Full Monty - I wanted so much to like this film, I really did, as it was filmed in my home city, and I recognised a lot of the locations. Don't get me wrong, its quite comical in places and I liked it, but it is probably a victim of its own success - Everyone said it was hilarious, you have to see it etc... so for me i suppose it was impossible for it to live up to that hype.
10. Spiderman 2 - excellent special effects, but that was it. Spiderman 1 wasn't fantastic to be fair, but this one was so over-hyped, and was just not good.
n.b. list (as always) subject to change

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 19******
OF ALL THE GIN JOINTS IN ALL THE TOWNS IN ALL THE WORLD, SHE WALKS INTO MINE!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 19******/RED]
although to be fair most of the script from Casablanca is very quotable!

Hey Jen, have you seen this? This is me saying hi![wave]

Wow! You've got all the way down here? very impressive! I assume this means you would like to read more about the Captain. My name comes from the final episode of Buffy, with probably the funniest insult ever delivered in the entire series "I can't believe I'm getting the brush-off for Captain Peroxide" or some such thing. Anyway, Captain Peroxide is of course Spike, and along with Giles is my favourite character on Buffy. I've just got series 3 of Angel on DVD and have just finished it. I haven't seen any more of Angel than that and am desperately trying to avoid spoilers about it, hence my avoidance of the Angel boards for now and reliance on the Buffy board.

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 20******
WHO YOU GONNA CALL?
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 20******/RED]
n.b. in the words of Spike: That phrase is simply never going to be useable again is it?
You want more?
Top 10 lists seem to appear a lot on profiles and this site in general, and they are a good way of discovering shared interests, so here we go.


Well lets see, are you sitting comfortably? Then I shall begin!

My Top 10 TV programmes

1. Buffy
2. Friends
nb - these two have alternated position frequently, and probably will continue to do so again in the future
3. Star Trek - the whole franchise really
4. Red Dwarf
5. Alias - only on series 3 though so again am trying to avoid spoilers
6. Angel - only seen series 1-3, it definitely looks good thus far.
7. Star Trek Enterprise - needs a separate mention really
8. Yes Minister & Yes Prime Minister - a classic 80s British political comedy, and surprisingly helpful for my A level politics revision!
9. Only Fools and Horses
10. undecided as of yet, but Two and A Half Men has the potential to fill this spot.

******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 21******
I HAVE GOT TO GET ME ONE OF THESE!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 21******


Random shoutings, thoughts and musings!

[ORANGE] baroness_kitty has dubbed me: His Excellent Eminence, Crown Prince Peroxide. The Majestic Scourge of Sheffield! LONG LIVE ME! /ORANGE]

******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 22******
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING PUNK? DID I FIRE 6 SHOTS OR ONLY 5? TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH I KINDA FORGOTTEN MYSELF IN ALL THE EXCITEMENT. BUT BEING THIS IS A .44 MAGNUM THE MOST POWERFUL HANDGUN IN THE WORLD, AND WOULD BLOW YOUR HEAD CLEAN OFF, YOU GOTTA ASK YOURSELF A QUESTION: "DO I FEEL LUCKY?" WELL...DO YA...PUNK?
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 22******


OK, how about some more Top 10s?

Top 40 Films:
I love films far too much to limit the list to 10 (see above) so going to have to turn this into a top 40 - and even in ascending order- far too much free time obviously!

40. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
39. The Usual Suspects
38. Basic
37. Tombstone
36. Jurassic Park
35. Speed
34. A Few Good Men
33. Private Parts
32. JFK
31. Starship Troopers
30. Enemy of the State
29. Schindler’s List
28. Mystic River
27. Casablanca
26. The Godfather
25. LA Confidential
24. Pirates of the Caribbean
23. Memento
22. Die Hard with A Vengance
21. Die Hard
20. Goodfellas
19. The Butterfly Effect
18. The Others
17. Terminator 2: Judgement Day
16. Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
15. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
14. Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
13. A Beautiful Mind
12. 12 Angry Men
11. Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
10. The Shawshank Redemption
9. Batman Begins
8. The Phantom of the Opera
7. The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
6. Independence Day
5. Sin City
4. Gladiator
3. The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
2. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
1. The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 23******
ARE YOU TALKING TO ME? I DON'T SEE ANYONE ELSE AROUND HERE, SO YOU MUST BE TALKING TO ME!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 23******/RED]
[black]
Top 10 actors
1. Russell Crowe Best Film:Gladiator or A Beautiful Mind
2. Johnny Depp Best Film: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas or Pirates of the Caribbean
3. Al Pacino Best Film:The Godfather
4. Will Smith (sorry, i usually find him entertaining - check out my Hitch review for my honest, balanced opinion of him)Best Film:Independence Day
5. Nicolas Cage Best Film:Face Off
6. Morgan FreemanBest Film:The Shawshank Redemption
7. Ewan McGregor - and not just for star wars!Best Film:Star Wars Episode III Revenge of the Sith orMoulin Rouge
8. Samuel L Jackson Best Film:Pulp Fiction or Die Hard With A Vengance
9. Wesley SnipesBest Film:Blade
10. Denzel WashingtonBest Film: Training Day

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 24******
THEY CAN TAKE AWAY OUR LIVES, BUT THEY'LL NEVER TAKE OUR FREEDOM!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 24******/RED]

Top 10 Actresses

1. Kate Winslet Best Film:Titanic
2. Sarah Michelle Gellar (though that's mainly because of Buffy lol)Best Film:Cruel Intentions
3. Rachel WeiszBest Film:The Mummy Returns
4. Nicole KidmanBest Film:Dogville
6. Uma ThurmanBest Film:Kill Bill
7. Charlize TheronBest Film:The Devil's Advocate
8. Drew BarrymoreBest Film:50 First Dates
9. Lindsay Lohan Best Film:The Parent Trap
10. Emmy Rossum Best Film:The Phantom of the Opera orThe Day after Tomorrow

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 25******
OBI-WAN NEVER TOLD YOU WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FATHER
HE TOLD ME ENOUGH, HE TOLD ME YOU KILLED HIM!
NO............I......AM YOUR FATHER!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 25******/RED]
Now that, Messers Tarantino and Singer, is what you call a twist

Next, the Top 10 list that started all Top 10 lists:

My Top 10 Songs

1. Gangsta's Paradise - Coolio
2. Leyla - Derek and the Dominoes
3. Bat Out Of Hell - Meat Loaf
4. Bring Me To Life - Evanescence
5. Hero - Chad Kroeger
6. My Immortal - Evanescence
7. Walking In Memphis - Marc Cohn
8. My Last Breath - Evanesence
9. House of the Rising Sun - The Animals
10. Bother - Stone Sour
11. Cells - The Servant
12. A Kiss is a Terrible Thing to Waste - Meat Loaf
13. The Phantom of the Opera - Sarah Brightman/Emmy Rossum & Michael Crawford/Gerard Butler
14. Your Song - Elton John/Ewan McGregor
15. Lost Without You - Delta Goodrem
16. Bad Bad Leroy Brown - Frank Sinatra
17. Wild Horses - The Sundays
18. Somebody Told Me - The Killers
19. American Badass - Kid Rock
20. Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leppard

No doubt this list will be updated, and will also receive a great deal of criticism, but so what? There's no accounting for taste!

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 26******
YOU WANNA PLAY ROUGH? OK! SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 26******/RED]

DANGER! CONSTRUCTION SITE AREA! BEWARE FALLING WORDS! ENTER AT YOUR OWN RISK!/YELLOW]

Top 10 Friends Episodes

1. T.O.W. Everybody Finds Out
2. T.O.W. Frank Jr. {Thank you for the inspiration Grinspoon Rox!)


n.b. dont you just love that start to every episode title?

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@M@WWWWBWWWWBW0BBBWWMMMM@8BBBBBB0BB0B00BBBB00B0B0000BBB0B00080000080BW@0B@ZZ8[/pre]

Top 10 Friends Quotes

1. Joey: Some girl ate Monica!
Monica: Shut up, the camera adds at least 10 pounds!
Chandler: Ok so how many cameras are actually on you?
T.O.W. The Prom
2. Joey:oh sorry, did I get you?
Chandler:No you didn't get me! It's an electric drill, you get me, you kill me!
T.O.W. Frank Jnr
3. Rachel:And hey, just so you know, it's not that common, it doesn't happen to every guy,and it is a big deal!
Chandler:I knew it!
T.O.W. The Jellyfish - thanks Michelle, for making me laugh, inspiring me, and confirming all guys worst fears!
4. Ross:I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
Chandler:Then stay out of my freezer!
T.O.W.The Pilot

currently working on this area with assistance from Grinspoon Rox - and it is greatly appreciated assistance!

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 27******
I'M GONNA MAKE HIM AN OFFER HE CAN'T REFUSE
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 27******/RED]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SECTION
Tribute to my (current) favourite programme ever!

Top 10 Buffy Quotes

1. Buffy: How can a bat attack someone on its own?
Xander: Maybe it was a vampire bat!
Out of mind, out of sight
2. Giles: Pillock!
Phases
3. Buffy: We need to find the rest of the swim team and lock them up before they get in touch with their inner halibut.
Go Fish
4. Giles: For God sakes man she's 18! And you have the emotional maturity of a blueberry scone. Just have at it will you and stop fluttering about!
The Prom
5. Willow:Alternate dimensional are tricky, they move. It's like trying to hit a puppy by throwing a live bee at it.... Which is a weird image and you should all forget it.
Triangle
6. Spike Oh Bollocks!
Chosen
7. Giles: Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead. Americans!"
Dead Man's Party
8. Giles:wait, you think I'm evil if I bring a bunch of girls on a camping trip and don't touch them?
The Killer in Me
9. Spike: You made a bear! Undo it, undo it!
Pangs
10.Andrew: that boy is our only hope.
Warren/First:No, there is another
Andrew: Really? Who's our last hope?
Warren(first):No, i was just going with it. It was a thing. No, he's our only hope.
Conversations With Dead People

Honourable mention section

Andrew's one other good quote:

Andrew:Darth Rosenberg is coming to grind us into Jawaburgers and not one of you has the midichlorians to stop her!
Two to Go
Thanks to Buffynick for that one! VP of DVDaholics Anonymous!

Although not a very funny quote, it is probably the coolest moment on buffy, from the episode 'Two to Go' (I'm sure you all already know the bit i mean)

Willow: And there's no one in the world who has the power to stop me now!
Willow is blasted across the room. The camera then cuts to Giles, standing there
Giles: I'd like to test that theory!
Two To Go

Credit to stone_fox for that quote, my inspiration!
Two To Go - good episode for classic quotes!

Giles: She may have what you Americans refer to as 'issues.'
When She Was Bad

Buffy:I'm getting married! Can you believe it?
Riley:I don't think 'no' is a strong enough word!
Something Blue - though this is just one of many great quotes in that ep which will later be added - thanks to Buffynick, she agrees with me, and loves Buffy as much as i do!

Xander:{On hearing Spike and Buffy are to get married}How? What? How?
Giles:Three excellent questions.
Another classic from Something Blue

Spike:I don't fancy spending the next 6 months getting librarian out of the carpet!
Becoming, Part II

Xander:It's Giles. Hey everyone its Giles......With a chainsaw!?
Fear itself

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 28******
I'M FUNNY HOW, LIKE I'M A CLOWN, I MAKE YOU LAUGH, I'M HERE TO FUCKING AMUSE YOU? HOW AM I FUNNY, WHAT THE FUCK IS SO FUNNY ABOUT ME, TELL ME? TELL ME WHAT'S FUNNY?
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 28******/RED]

And now, it's gotta be done.....

My Top 10 Buffy Episodes!
1. Something Blue
2. Once More With Feeling
3. Tabula Rasa
4. Hush
5. Halloween
6. Two To Go/Grave - Excellent episode for classic quotes
7. Gone
8. Enemies
9. Earshot
10. A New Man
11. Checkpoint
12. The Prom
13. Becoming Part II
14. Chosen
15. Lies My Parents Told Me
16. The Puppet Show
17. Nightmares
18. The Harvest
19. Passions
20. Pangs

Well, it turned into a Top 20 again didn't it? Just couldn't limit my favourites to just 10 really.

Honourable Mention Section
Season 1: Out of Mind, Out of Sight
Season 2: Innocence
Season 3: Faith Hope and Trick
Season 4: Fear Itself
Season 5: Triangle
Season 6: Normal Again
Season 7: Same Time Same Place

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[/pre]

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 29******
WE WANT THE FINEST WINES AVAILABLE TO HUMANITY, AND WE WANT THEM HERE AND WE WANT THEM NOW!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 29******/RED]


[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 30******
A CENSUS TAKER ONCE TRIED TO TEST ME....I ATE HIS LIVER WITH SOME FAVA BEANS AND A NICE CHIANTI......HAFAFAFAFA!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 30******/RED]
Well, you know that noise he makes, can't quite put it into words really!

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[/pre][/BLACK]

[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 31******
I SEE DEAD PEOPLE....THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 31******/RED]

[trum][BLUE]SONG LYRICS[/BLUE]
OK, how about some song lyrics - these following are the lyrics to some of my favourite songs, and they are quite an eclectic mix i think! (i love that word 'eclectic')

Elton John - Your Song

its a little bit funny, this feeling inside
i'm not one of those who can easily hide
i dont have much money but boy if i did
id buy a big house where we both could live

if i was a sculptor but then again no
or a man who makes potions in a travelling show
i know its not much but its the best i can do
my gift is my song and this one's for you

and you can tell everybody this is your song
it may be quite simple but now that its done
i hope you dont mind i hope you dont mind
that i put down in words
how wonderful life is now you're in the world

i sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
well some of those verses they got me quite cross
but the sun's been kind while i wrote this song
its for people like you that keep it turned on

so excuse me forgetting but these things i do
you see i've forgotten if they're green, or they're blue
anyway the thing is what i really mean
yours are the sweetest eyes ive ever seen

and you can tell everybody this is your song
it may be quite simple but now that its done
i hope you dont mind i hope you dont mind
that i put down in words
how wonderful life is now you're in the world


[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 32******
YOU KILLED HIM!
NO, I SHOT HIM, THE BULLETS AND THE FALL KILLED HIM.
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 32******/RED]
And I think I'll put these in as well, for no reason other than its one of my favourite songs and the lyrics are rather poetic i suppose in a gothic sorta way.

Michael Crawford/Gerard Butler & Sarah Brightman/Emmy Rossum - The Phantom of the Opera - what? I love that song!

In sleep he sang to me, In dreams he came
That voice which calls to me And speaks my name
And do I dream again For now I find
The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside my mind

Sing once again with me Our strange duet
My power over you Grows stronger yet
And though you turn from me To glance behind
The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your mind

Those who have seen your face Draw back in fear
I am the mask you wear It’s me they hear
My/Your spirit and your/my voice
In one combined
The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your/my mind

He’s there, the Phantom of the Opera
Beware, the Phantom of the Opera

In all your fantasies You always new
That man and mystery Were both in you
And in this labyrinth Where night is blind
The Phantom of the Opera is there Inside your mind

Sing my Angel of Music
Sing for me!


And, seeing as this is my favourite song ever probably:

Coolio feat. LV - Gangsta's Paradise

As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death
I take a look at my life
And realise there's nothing left
'Cause I've been blasting and laughing so long
That even my momma thinks that my mind has gone
But I ain't never crossed a man that didn't deserve it
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of
You betta watch how ya talking
And where ya walking
Or you and your homies might be lined in chalk
I really hate to trip but I gotta loc
As they croak, I see myself in the pistol smoke
Fool, I'm the kinda g that little homie's wanna be like
On my knees in the night
Saying prayers in the street light

Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise

Look at the situation, they got me facing
I can't live a normal life, I was raised by the state
So I gotta be down with the 'hood team
Too much television watching, got me chasing dreams
I'm an educated fool with money on my mind
Got my ten in my hand and a gleam in my eye
I'm a locked out gangsta, set tripping banger
And my homies are down so don't arouse my anger
Fool, death ain't nothing but a heart beat away
I'm living life do or die, what can I say?
I'm twenty-three now , will I ever live to see twenty-four
The way things is going I don't know

Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me?

Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise

Power in the money, money in the power
Minute after minute, hour after hour
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
It's going on in the kitchen
But I don't know what's cooking
They say I gotta learn
But nobody's here to teach me
If they can't understand it, how can they reach me?
I guess they can't, I guess they won't, I guess they've run
That's why I know my life is out of luck, fool

Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Been spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Keep spending most our lives Living in a gangsta's paradise
Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me?
Tell me why are we so blind to see That the ones we hurt are you and me?


[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 33******
THE GREATEST TRICK THE DEVIL EVER PULLED WAS CONVINCING THE WORLD HE DIDN'T EXIST.
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 33******/RED]
Credit to hazylazydays for that one - thanks sweetie!

And now for something completely, well, slightly, different:

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -
For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -
This it is, and nothing more,'

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,
And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -
Darkness there, and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,
And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'
This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'
Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -
'Tis the wind and nothing more!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -
Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,
Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;
For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being
Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -
Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,
With such name as `Nevermore.'

But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,
That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.
Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -
Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -
On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'
Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disaster
Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -
Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden bore
Of "Never-nevermore."'

But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,
Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;
Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking
Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -
What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore
Meant in croaking `Nevermore.'

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing
To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;
This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining
On the cushion's velvet violet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,
But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,
She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer
Swung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.
`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent thee
Respite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!
Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -
Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,
Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -
On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -
Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -
Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,
It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -
Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -
`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!
Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'
Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,
And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;
And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor
Shall be lifted - nevermore!


Well we're finished, but thanks for reading gentle viewer. But we probably just have enough time for one more (and I suppose it needs to be a classic really):
[RED]******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 34******
LOUIS, I THINK THIS IS THE BEGINNING OF A BEAUTIFUL FRIENDSHIP!
******CLASSIC QUOTE TIME 34******/RED]

Well gentle viewer, that, I'm afraid is it, we're out of space. Thanks for reading and keep checking back for future updates. Dont forget to read my reviews or send me a PM to say you've read all this and give opinions, or just say hi.
So until then, this is the Captain signing off.....byeeee [wave]

SIGNATURE GRAVEYARD][DEAD][DEAD][EVIL9][DEAD][DEAD]

Here we pay tribute to the signatures that have fallen, been deemed unworthy to continue in favour of something new:
-Goodnight out there, whatever you are!
-I'm Back in Black, and on the Highway to Hell!
-Here Endeth the Lesson
-Movies Are Entertainment, and th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!

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Clasificación de Mr_PCM
Kill for Me

Kill for Me

5.5
4
  • 28 mar 2013
  • Standard - very standard - thriller in the loosest sense of the term

    Kill for Me seems such a by-the-numbers standard 'thriller' that there is almost no need to watch the film at all. Nothing about the film is particularly bad, but then there is nothing about it that is particularly good or original either. As a throwaway 90 minutes of diversion, Kill for Me is adequate, mildly interesting but almost instantly forgettable, given that it is almost entirely derivative of other, superior films - Single White Female and Horrible Bosses being just two that come immediately to mind. The very definition of a straight-to-DVD movie.

    The plot is obvious enough for even Ray Charles to see coming - university law student Amanda (Green Arrow's Katie Cassidy) takes in a new roommate, vet student Hayley (Tracy Spiridakos) when her former roommate goes missing. Meanwhile her ex-boyfriend has taken on creepy stalker-ish tendencies, while Hayley's dad is apparently quite free and happy with his fists. Amanda bonds with Hayley over their shared pain. Can you tell where it's going yet? Hayley of course seems fairly normal to begin with, and Amanda sees in her a kindred spirit. When thoughts inevitably turn to murder to solve each other's problems, things take a turn for the even more predictable and cliché, with one or two 'twists' that might as well have signposts signalling their imminent arrival.

    Yet there is a reason that this kind of story has been done before; it generally works quite well, and, for all its predictability, Kill For Me is relatively enjoyable. Admittedly it will never be in the running for an award for best original screenplay, but the performances of the leads do enough to gain the audience's investment in their fates, and are easy enough on the eye to measure up to other sorority house-style killer thrillers. There's even the inevitable Sapphic turn of events, which again regularly seems to appear in films featuring sorority age university girls. But the film is not sexy enough to be a true sorority flick, not bloody enough to be a real slasher, and not tense or unpredictable enough to be a genuine thriller - an isolated farmhouse, a mysterious disappearance and a few taut violin strings are not enough to automatically ratchet up the suspense.

    Overall, an average, adequate, run-of-the-mill (or any other synonym of merely satisfactory) thriller, that will provide 90 minutes diversion without the audience clamouring for a refund, but without much applause either.

    Meh.
    Exit to Eden

    Exit to Eden

    4.3
    1
  • 25 mar 2013
  • Neither erotic nor funny - call trade descriptions!

    Irritating voiceovers, amateur acting, corny dialogue that a porn star would be embarrassed to deliver, racial stereotypes, gratuitous nudity, hazy dream-like flashbacks, a performance by Rosie O'Donnell and Dan Aykroyd with a moustache - all the ingredients for a Razzie award-winning film - and win it did! Coupled with an overly long plot that regularly goes MIA, and drags when it does show up for duty, 1994's Exit to Eden makes notable turkey Gigli seem as romantic as Brief Encounte! It's all so comically bad it feels like it should be in German - a la the old late night movies found in the higher channel numbers in the early days of satellite TV. In the right hands, or with a more daring director or provocative censor, this film set in a holiday resort run by a dominatrix could have been quite interesting, but unfortunately tiptoes around anything more controversial than an occasional tap with a hairbrush.

    The laughable, risible plot involves a pair of jewel thieves and a pair of cops going undercover at a BDSM resort to retrieve a film canister containing photos of a jewel robbery, while various couples visualise and act out their assorted TV-friendly fantasies. That's pretty much all that is needed.

    It's hard to know what aspect of the film drags it down the most, but perennially bad actress Rosie O'Donnell probably takes the...er....Oscar! Her awful dialogue delivery, grating voice-over, and even her harsh New York accent for an LA cop is grating. Meanwhile the plot is almost incidental to the film, serving seemingly only as a way to string a few soft bondage scenes and awkward interactions together, and the reason for why the cops and thieves are there is largely forgotten for large portions of the film. But the scenes aren't particularly arousing enough for the film to be much of an erotic thriller, and the story isn't even remotely gripping enough to fulfil the thriller aspect either. Meanwhile Dan Aykroyd's hammy delivery, while seemingly perfect for Ghostbusters, seems to merely add to the film's overall corniness. When the plot finally does make a return to the film, it drags the already-meandering pace of the film down to an absolute crawl, and by the time the film approaches its 'climax' (and never was a term so inaccurate on so many levels) after nearly 2 hours, a life of celibacy may suddenly have some appeal.

    Ask for a refund of both your time and money.

    Dire.
    Duro de matar

    Duro de matar

    8.2
    9
  • 24 mar 2013
  • The action movie that defined a generation - and spawned a thousand imitations!

    Die Hard is regularly ranked as the greatest of all the 80s action movies, and among the greatest of all time, and even 25 years later, it is not difficult to see why. Die Hard really is action film-making at its best, and began a new type of actioner - the everyman caught in a unique situation - that many films would try to copy; some more successfully than others, but none would ever measure up to the original. That even includes the 4 (and counting) sequels! It would launch the careers of Bruce Willis and Alan Rickman skyward - admittedly on different trajectories - and even become a bizarrely popular choice for a seasonal festive film each December! John McClane (Willis) is a New York cop who has travelled to Los Angeles to reunite with his estranged wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia) at a Christmas party in a city skyscraper, when an armed band of villains march in with machine guns and take over, led by Alan Rickman's evil Hans Gruber, holding the partygoers to ransom. McClane must then work his way through the building, picking off the terrorists one by one, fighting a one-man war while the LAPD pontificates impotently on the doorstep.

    The recipe is incredibly simple, yet brilliantly effective; the ludicrous situation is tempered by the Regular Joe nature of Willis's character, allowing the audience to identify wholeheartedly with his efforts and motivations, while hissing at the Machiavellian machinations of arch-criminal Gruber. The action itself is replete with some superb and exciting shootouts, spectacular set pieces and a new level of violence not often seen in such a mainstream action film before now - just watch for the scene with the broken glass, and you'll be wincing for weeks! Bruce Willis so perfectly captured the essence of his character, that the image, hair and even name have become synonymous with action heroes for all movies hereafter. The iconic shaved head and dirty white vest perfectly captured the feel of the right man caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, but it was not just Willis's physique and wardrobe that made John McClane such a hero. His fight scenes are brutally brilliant, and his delivery of both threats and sarcastic one-liners will have audiences punching the air and chuckling in equal measure. His radio exchanges with Rickman's Gruber are superb, and his charming banter with Sgt Al Powell on the outside - also over radio - lend the character an extra warmth that could easily have been missed, which would have made the character slightly less sympathetic.

    But every great hero needs a villain, and Alan Rickman produced a performance of a lifetime; one which would lead him to being pigeonholed as a great British 'character actor' - Hollywood code for 'plays great villains!'. Admittedly this would lead him to even further success, most notably as the Sheriff of Nottingham in Robin Hood Prince of Thieves, and of course Professor Snape in the Harry Potter films, but it was unquestionably this role that set him on the role to a reputation as one of the greatest villainous actors of the twentieth century. His performance is never overstated, and without resorting to scenery-chewing, makes every single line positively drip with threat and menace. But he is also allowed a few light moments of his own in between his shooting of innocent bystanders - darkly comic interplay with the FBI outside in particular. His arrogant dismissive nature of the FBI while reeling off a list of names the group want freed is particularly black - his request for one group that he then mouths to his associate that he 'read about them in Time Magazine' a standout. His ability to produce a villain who is both positively loathsome and yet darkly charismatic makes Die Hard just as much Rickman's film as it does Bruce Willis's. Jeremy Irons' attempt to reproduce this balance in the film's third entry pales in comparison, producing a villain that is fun, but unfortunately occasionally too camp to be truly hissable.

    The majority of the other characters are generally rather 2-dimensional, in particular McLane's estranged wife Holly, whose character is unfortunately lacking much in the way of back-story that could have made Willis's mission even more effective, whilst the henchman are as typically anonymous as you might expect from such an actioner. The rest of the attendees at the party are also mostly anonymous, making it difficult for the audience to truly get invested in their fate.

    But such quibbles are unquestionably minor next to the brilliance of the whole, and such was the film's success that virtually every action film of its type would thus be labelled as the 'new Die Hard' or the even more derivative 'Die Hard on a plane/train/boat/submarine' (delete as applicable). So to see how films like Die Hard actioners should be done, it can only be Die Hard itself. A true era-defining film, one that even gained numerous name-checks in 'Friends' to demonstrate its iconic nature, that became a perfect template for all subsequent action films to follow.
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