Scènes de ménage (dans un centre commercial)

Like a stale marriage, after about half an hour you might feel like retaking your vows with this one, because although it starts well enough, the fire soon dies down. The two leads are great, sparking off each other and generally giving all they've got to these two-dimensional characters. But there's only so many one-liners you can take before you realise that there isn't actually anything happening. It's an interesting idea, and worth a look, but with the credentials of those involved you'd expect to get more for your money.

I enjoyed this a lot, but more in the way you enjoy a play than a film. I can see how this would annoy some people, but I quite like it when film mimics theatre- for instance, by restricting virtually all the dialogue to two characters, and virtually all the action to one, claustrophobic, ___location. The plot is slow and unlikely, but the writing is good, and the acting superb. Particularly fine is Midler's murderous side-long glance at the word 'zombies'. Actually, I don't think I've ever seen Allen have better chemistry with his leading lady. So, not a film for laughing out loud at, but engrossing, well done, and fun to watch. Best thing about it: A mime gets punched. Worst thing: Woody Allen in a white jacket and- God help us- a pony-tail.

Now I remember when Scenes From A Mall first came out, it got absolutely atrocious reviews. I wasn't old enough to see it then, but I loved the idea of a movie with two of my comedy heroes, Woody Allen and Bette Midler. In fact, I had almost forgotten about this movie until I read a review of the newest Woody Allen movie, "Small Time Crooks" in which the reviewer said that Allen hadn't had as good chemistry as he had with Tracey Ullman with another actress since Scenes From A Mall. So I went out and found the movie, and the reviewer was definitely correct. The two stars have masterful chemistry, although it's almost ridiculous to believe Woody Allen and Bette Midler would be together, but then again isn't that it in most of his movies. I mean does anyone believe he could have gone to bed with Mira Sorvino, Julia Roberts, Juliette Lewis, Elisabeth Shue, I mean even Judy Davis is a big stretch. Well whatever. The problem I had with the movie is that it is more like an absurdist play than a real movie. This married couple go to the mall on their anniversary and both reveal they have had affairs. The film is believable except for the wild and sudden reactions that Bette Midler's character has to Allen's revelations. She knees him in the groin and screams at him. Now nobody enjoys Bette Midler's antics more than I do (think the phone call scene in Ruthless People) but I just didn't buy it. It was like Bette Midler was dying to have moments of big ballsy comedy inserted into a more serious film. Then of course they make up, which isn't very believable either, nor is it funny. Then she reveals her affair and Allen overreacts. At this point I was like in disbelief that anyone would expect us to swallow such a hackneyed and predictable reaction and story set up. Of course they're more fighting, and an annoying mime (hello? they stole it from tootsie) and lots of garish on again off again reactions. Gee I wonder what happens at the end? It's not a hard one to predict folks. It was perfectly enjoyable though, but when you think about it in your head you realize it's really not such a with it piece of work. The movie reminded me of Midler's more recent film "That Old Feeling" where she again overreacts with big screaming fights that are supposed to be hysterical. The couple in that movie also go do an on again off again thing with lots of screaming in between. Like I said, they're both enjoyable and Midler radiates charm but why does she keep saying yes to this terrible s**t? She's a good actress, and she should be doing better comedy's not this terrible lowbrow material, (hello Drowning Mona was beyond embarrasing, its already the worst film of the year). All in all, scenes from a mall is worth it for the great chemistry between the two stars and its pretty cute. But why anyone would think that we would enjoy seeing Woody Allen in a ponytail is beyond me.

Some films make the viewer a participant. Others make the viewer, well, a viewer. Others make the viewer a voyeur. SCENES FROM A MALL makes the viewer a third wheel. A very uncomfortable position to be in.

Like in real life, the third wheel is the poor schmuck who innocently accompanies a couple on a date or dinner or whatever and often ends up being less a companion than a witness, or worse, a referee, when a lovers' spat breaks out. In such a situation, all one can do is to keep looking at one's watch, pretend that there is nothing wrong and, above all else, don't get involved.

When it was announced that SCENES FROM A MALL would pair Bette Midler and Woody Allen together as a bickering couple who spend the day at the mall, I couldn't help but smile. Bette and Woody married, what a great idea. They both seem so different, yet so perfect together. And to their credit, they do have great chemistry here. They click. And they are certainly convincing as a couple with a whole boat load of marital issues. Maybe too convincing. What could have been an amusing thread of a story if interwoven into a larger tapestry becomes instead a tiresome ordeal. Woody and Bette argue and bicker and insult and break up and kiss and make up and argue and bicker and insult some more. Their day-long excursion to the mall to do Christmas shopping becomes an extended primal therapy session. Despite the best efforts of the two stars, what begins as an amusing domestic comedy rapidly become just plain annoying.

The fault lies with writer/director Paul Mazursky, whose films -- good, bad or indifferent -- seldom have a strong focus and tend to ramble shamelessly. It is a style of film-making that, in theory, tries to represent realism, but in practice it violates the conventions of what we accept as film reality -- reelity, so to speak. Mazursky's films always tend to look and feel like rehearsals, not a finished production.

This film has it assets. Woody and Bette, of course. And the recreation of a California mall, mostly filmed on a New York soundstage is quite convincing (though how many malls feature ballroom dancing?). SCENES FROM A MALL looks right and is acted just right, but in the end, this trip to the mall wears you out, leaving you just wanting to go home.

He lives in Southern California. He spends time in a mall. He carries a surfboard. He wears a ponytail. Is this really Woody Allen, or an imposter? This movie received a critical beating when it came out, but it's really not that bad. In fact, I sort of got a kick out of seeing Woody in this. He is well matched by Bette Midler, who reprises her Down and Out in Beverly Hills character. Director Paul Mazursky, who usually makes either Southern California or Manhattan-set social comedies, brings Woody out to the Beverly Hills that he's trashed in so many movies (the most obvious being Annie Hall), and plucks him into the center of '80s and '90s California consumerism--the mall. The story involves Allen and Midler discussing their infidelities in various mall settings, but the dialogue is merely a clothesline for the idea. It was a hard idea to pull off, but I, being the Woody Allen fan that I am, enjoyed it.