The Hooker with a Heart of Gold

When I read the user comments and saw the rating this movie got I immediately got suspicious. Raving reviews bordering on fellatio, and 40% giving it ten stars. Unsurprisingly, the actual movie wasn't up to par with what the IMDb page let on. The director and his friends has put a lot of effort in promoting this movie/series here.

First of all, this is an amateur movie, and virtually anyone could have done this. All you need is a camera and some friends. I would be surprised if the cost of it surpassed $500.

All actors are amateurs, and the acting is as you would suspect not very good. Most likely they're friends of the director, and the casting process was without a doubt non-existent; everyone available got a part. The movie was shot with a cheap video camera, and all dialogue is on- set, so it's sometimes hard to catch what the actors are saying.

The directing and editing is at best amateurish, with awkward angles and weird cuts, many of them interrupting the pacing of the movie and/or making it coming to a screeching halt. Some shots are far too long, and some are too short or should have been omitted entirely. There is a story in there somewhere, but all of the above makes it hard to follow.

Since the video camera used is a cheap one, it's not HD, the colors are bad and most of the lighting is from whatever lights sources there were in that particular room. I say room, because obviously there are no actual sets, all of the movie is filmed in someone's house. There are no props or visual effects, apart for some blood and a wig.

The music seems out of place and seldom fits the scenes. All music are classic pop/rock songs, all of them well-known and I would be surprised if any of them are licensed, considering the overall production values.

The good thing is that it's free to watch on thecinemasnob.com. Anything else than that would be a rip off. Some of the written dialogue is OK, with a lot of references to other movies, which I like, because it makes me feel smart. It's also somewhat funny that one of the main characters is called Dr Rogen, since he actually looks and sounds a lot like Seth Rogen.

Sometime in the future, Dr. Rogen(Brian Lewis) has successfully completed building a heart made of solid gold and according to him it "pumps 3 times the amount of blood as a standard artificial heart". Also during this time, a hooker(Sarah Lewis) is trying to leave the business and start a new life, but her pimp(Brad Jones) won't let her. She eventually runs away and is accidentally hit by Dr. Rogen's car. The only way to save her is to transplant the heart of gold into her. From there, a bunch of stuff happens: the death of her pimp, her friend(Jillian Zurawski) becoming a sex slave, assassins hired to kill her, and one of her patients(Ryan Mitchelle) trying to prove his love for her. As you'd expect from the title, this is not a movie that you should take seriously. Don't expect this to become the next Citizen Kane or Shawshank Redemption, this is a movie that needs to be watched solely as a popcorn movie, just sit back and enjoy it. The plot is stupid, the acting is mediocre, the special effects are bad, the flowing of the story makes no sense...and that's why it's fun. This movie was made by a guy who reviews movies for a living and the actors are his friends who haven't had a single acting class. Because of this, the movie is only view able online and it is done beautifully in 5 parts. If you love the cinema snob and want to go looking for something just to enjoy and not worry about plot details, this movie is definitely for you.

Look, you don't watch Hooker with a Heart of Gold to get something that will change the form of cinema or even push exploitation cinema into another stratosphere. It's a dude who spends 10 grand (not on the song rights for sure, but hey, why carp, soundtrack kicks ass) on bringing what he loves - feisty and smart hookers, sleazy pimps, uh, nice-guy hapless "mad" doctors - and pushes it with a lot of attitude.

It certainly helps to already be a fan of the Cinema Snob website, not just the videos he does in character (it's all mostly exploitation films and porn), but the midnight screenings where you get to see the various actors (Sarah, Brian, Ryan, Jerrid, etc) as themselves. Seeing this movie after years of watching those videos is like watching your friends make a movie: what it lacks in technical polish (and yeah, it lacks a lot) is made up for with a tight script and some decent editing from Brad Jones (also writer/director).

Oh, and speaking of Jones, he's having the time of his life as Zalman the pimp. He comes with a big greasy black wig, and his voice is tuned to be like Jack Nicholson in full-on villain mode (or just, you know, Nicholson mode), and he's clearly having the time of his life in this part. The story isn't all on him - it's a genre blend of Frankenstein sci-fi and a sleaze fest drenched in 70s and 80s disco and rock ("Couldn't See the Light" is what plays as the 'gold heart' is implanted) - and Sarah Lewis is fun to watch as the lead. Everyone is an amateur here, but mostly everyone delivers the dialog with some level of conviction and it's certainly a BIG step above the kinds of movies its giving homage to!

So if you dig seeing this kind of lo-fi ultra-low-budget filmmaking, with a soundtrack that makes it impossible to ever be an official release, and a cast that works well together and have a lot of charm to how they play off each other. It's certainly never boring, and occasionally it's funny and genuinely clever.

4 out of 4 points

NOTE: Available only at thecinemasnob.com for free viewing.

What begins like a sleazy exploitation film, THE HOOKER WITH A HEART OF GOLD becomes something much more and beyond. This film reminds me of MIDNIGHT HEAT, another triumph made by amateur exploitation filmmaker Brad Jones who also directed CHEAP and GAME BOYS.

What makes HOOKER great is that it's a mini series so it allows time to develop all of its characters. They all lovable no matter how bad or sleazy that they are, each of them are redeemable and honesty I didn't want to see any of them die, even the villain despite of his insanity.

The title is the best of all because it both literal and poetic. Its poetic because Sarah Lewis, our main character, is a lovable person and someone you want to be with despite she's a hooker and does coke. Its also literal because she really has a golden heart.

PLOT: Film begins with Dr. Rogen (Brain Lewis) attempting an operation on a corpse using a prototype mechanical heart that is painted gold. That is until he is stop by Don (Ryan Michette, the producer of HOOKER) and Mike (Jake Norvell). Rogen owes money to their employer Steele.

Then we are introduce to The Hooker (Sarah Lewis, and yes that is her name in the credits) snorting some cocaine with her customer. The Hooker is tired of the life and wants out which her pimp Zalman (Jones) does not take lightly.

The hooker escapes from his clutches until she is accidentally ran over by Rogen. He brings her to his basement and uses the prototype heart on her, replacing her old heart. The second she awakens, they hit it off and becomes friends and have a romance which is the most interesting part.

There is more to the plot which I will not reveal to you. Like MIDNIGHT HEAT, you should see it without being told about.

Overall, its Brad Jones' masterpiece. Out all the films he has done, its the best acted and most well crafted. According to interviews, Jones would like to do a DVD of HOOKER. I hope he does because I will be first in line to get it.

The Hooker with a Heart of Gold is a fine example of why independent film making is still alive and well, even if said 'genre' is suffocated sometimes by big studio pretentiousness and over hyped advertisement. Hooker is a gem on the internet, in that it will remain a piece of modern cinematic genius for 20 years until someone picks up on it and tries to buy it off to Troma Entertainment or Asylum films.

Sarah Lewis plays the title role of the Hooker, a hard as diamonds girl with a need to be cared for, she brings about a performance that is truly reminiscent of actress Marisa Berenson as Lady Lyndon from Kubrick's Barry Lyndon. Lewis' husband Brian Lewis plays Dr Rogen, a failing medical inventor who's one goal to create a super artificial heart is met with great turmoil and eventual joy as he gets in deep with mobsters and crime lords, and Lewis bring in a performance that I couldn't help but compare to Rick Morranis as Louis Tully in Ghostbusters. Writer, Director, and Actor Brad Jones plays dual roles as pimp Zalman and crime boss Steele, one is a spaced out babbling character that the late Dennis Hopper would be proud of; the other is a sinister mad man, who only cares about money, power, and the feeling of being loved, done with acting that only could've been matched by Joeseph Pilato. And finally, Jillian Zurwaski plays Janet, best friend of The Hooker and love interest of Steele, and all I could think of during her performance was Jodie Foster as Iris Steensma of Taxi Driver.

The over all feel of the film is very much nostalgic, with the story feeling like something brought out of the 80's and into today. The use of classic music like Neil Young, Procol Harum, and Fleetwood Mac catches the music lovers mind and keeps them hooked into both the story and character development found within. Effects are fun to look at as you can tell that a lot of thought and effort were put into them, particularly the heart of gold prop, it gives off a sense of someone having had a good time finding the pieces for it and putting them together to the way that it was made.

Hooker with a Heart of Gold is a fantastic gem on the internet. I'm happy that I've seen it, and I can't wait to watch it again.