Il pornocchio

A rotund private dick is hired to find a killer, and has to get naked in the process.

I can't figure out if the movie amounts to serial copulation with whodunit overtones or a whodunit with serial copulation appeal. One way or the other, a naked Allan Garfield did keep my popcorn untouched. Actually, the 90-minutes is so smoothly directed and the girls so fetching that I did stay glued. Also, catch the symbolically placed donut and banana in the opening slow pan. I guess that tells you what's coming up. As I recall, the movie was much ballyhooed at the time. After all, what could only be hinted at before 1969 now became permissible, thanks mainly to the counter-culture's clash with censorship. Also, the Swedish ground-breaker I Am Curious (Yellow), (1969)-- the first commercial film to show copulation on screen-- drew lines around the block when I saw it. Now Hollywood, even Troma, could cash in on the novelty.

The movie itself may look like an oddity after 40-years. Certainly, the sex scenes take up as much time as the narrative. Still, the production is smoothly done, with about the right amount of tongue in cheek, Garfield included. And I like Madeleine LaRoux (!) who has a different movie look, sort of like an elongated Goldie Hawn. But a screen name like that suggests plans for a big porn career, which I don't think happened. All in all, guys could do a lot worse than Uncle, plus you don't have to feel inferior to the stud (Garfield). And, oh yeah, let the girl viewers figure out the plot.

This movie was something of a revelation when it came out -- a full-tilt x-rated film that had little to do with sex. It's structured as a detective film, with Alan Garfield (Goorwitz) in one of his early roles. Everyone talks sex (and often takes part), but the film is ultimately a bizarre comedy about sex. Accidental necrophilia may not sound like fertile ground for jokes, but it does work.

Sort of like x-rated Preston Sturges crossed with South Park. (I'm not claiming it's as good as either, but they give you an idea of the sensibility.) It will offend the uptight, that's for sure.

For anyone looking for a prurient Sam Spade or a Peeping Tom's idea of a Raymond Chandler mystery, director John G. Avildsen's very-nearly pornographic crime satire should suffice while also giving character actor Allen Garfield an overdue starring role as a not-so-private dick. Garfield's Jake Masters, on a blackmail/murder case for five G's, always seems to have his pants down, coming down, or about to come down. David Odell's script (adapted, believe it or not, from a novel, "Lie A Little, Die A Little," by Michael Brett) can barely work up the semblance of a storyline, while the naked ladies who cross Jake's path aren't the luscious dames of years-past; Avildsen has filled these roles with cheap and hardened braless babes. The film quickly begins to ape its own rancid scenario (this is literally a 'dirty' movie), but Garfield doesn't notice, making the most of the opportunity. Constantly horny, and wearing an ever-present stingy brim hat and sweaty undershirt (pulled down just far enough to cover his privates), Garfield is in the required raunchy spirit, all right, yet he also has unmistakable star appeal. He's the naughty kid from grade school barely grown up, unable to get information out of a female suspect without unzipping his fly. Avildsen's movie makes no overtures to morality or ethics--he just wants to goose the audience--and he has found the perfect lead for the job. ** from ****

Fans of Rocky and The Karate Kid probably don't know this, but the Oscar-winning director responsible for both mainstream cocklewarmers was making some very weird sh*t in the early 70s. Before coming down with a terminal case of Good Taste, Avildsen had cranked out the superior sex comedy Guess What We Learned In School Today? (1969) and the classic Summer of Hate film Joe (1970), starring Peter Boyle as a blue collar hippie-killer, and Cry Uncle, a totally whacked-out and very black private-eye spoof marketed as a sex film since you couldn't do much else with its then porno-only X rating. Tubby Jewish comedian Allen Garfield (you'll recognize the face, guaranteed)plays the "Super Dick' hired by a millionaire suspect in a murder case. The investigation soon becomes a trail of dead bodies, including one Garfield has sex with, thinking she's a comatose junkie! Troma president Lloyd Kaufman was production assistant, as with all early Avildsen films from Joe onwards, and plays the bearded hippie on LSD in a motel room. A bad taste masterpiece, Troma later distributed the film, displaying a rare flash of good taste on their part!

THE PLOT: A down and out private eye (Garfield) becomes embroiled in a complex case involving murder, intrigue, and a lot of sex.

THE POSITIVE: This is one drive-in flick that definitely does not skimp on the sex. There is a lot of it and it is very explicit and done in some outlandish ways. One features a couple having sex during the national anthem, while another shows Garfield having sex with a prostitute while in front of a picture of Christ, yet the most notorious one involves Garfield having sex with a dead body while ragtime music plays in the background. Garfield, in the lead, is quite amusing as he seems to be always running his mouth off about something. Sorvino also has a funny cameo as a policeman plagued with a terrible case of smoker's cough.

THE NEGATIVE: Although she delivers her lines well Le Roux, in the female lead role, is not real sexy. Her face resembles that of Cruella De Vil's in the cartoon version of 101 DALMATIONS and her body is very flat making her nude scenes unexciting. She also doesn't seem too young either. Certain camera angles make her look like a youthful 30 while others give the impression that she is pushing 45. There are also enough nude shots of overweight and out of shape Garfield to make just about anyone sick. The film is also unable to sustain its nice slam bang funny pace that it has at the beginning with the second half being not as outrageous or inspired.

THE LOWDOWN: For fans of low-grade, T & A, drive-in fare this one pretty much hits the target and makes the most of its low budget, underground roots.

THE RATING: 5 out of 10.