Caligola e Messalina

I was interested in these cheap Italian exploitation knockoffs for one reason -- well, that would be Caligula's debaucherous life, but more specifically because I'm such a fan of Tinto Brass' unpleasant trash epic. This movie adds very little to the mystique, (redundantly) rehashing some of Caligula's exploits, then they off him about 40 minutes in. So, really, this is more of a story about his (second) cousin Messalina, who, let me tell ya, is a bigger slut than Caligula ever hoped to be.

One thing I found misleading, was that the Caligula and Messalina Blu-ray included an X-rated cut, just like Brass' did. So, 6 extra minutes of, uh, I dunno, God-knows-what. They ramp up the incest. The vast majority of the sex is simulated, and the countless orgy sequences are done in this super wide screen. One thing I did notice on screen, were a whole lot of shots with, well, an unpleasant part of the male anatomy. Which no one wants to see! Worse still, what IS graphic is not one, but TWO scenes of animals mating. Yikes.

Messalina's portion of the story is one of betrayal, uprising, sleeping with anything with a pulse, so much distant nudity that you become immune to it, and who's going to outstab everyone else to become empress. If you're expecting anything on par with Brass' film (real sex, outrageous performances, elaborate sets, elaborate medieval decapitating devices, distasteful violence, etc. Etc.), I think "sorely disappointed" is all you'll be left with.

"Caligula and Messalina", obviously made to cash in on the dispiriting success of the notorious "Caligula", is not quite as bad as that movie, which is faint praise indeed. It is, however, almost painfully boring: proof, if any were required, that wall-to-wall sex and nudity can't prevent a movie from becoming soporific.

The plot is, allegedly, about the Roman emperor Caligula, Messalina (the most notorious woman in Roman history), Agrippina (her rival), and the emperor Claudius. The movie has very little dialogue, and practically no exposition, so if you don't go in knowing a fair bit about these classical figures, you'll be left in the dark for much of the movie's run-time.

Though, of course, "Caligula and Messalina" isn't a historical picture. It's an exploitation movie. So, there are a lot of ridiculous added details, such as Messalina first getting Caligula's attention by fighting in the colosseum. Women didn't fight in the colosseum anyway, but even if they had, I'm pretty sure a blood-relative of the current emperor would never have found her way there. The movie ignores the fact that Messalina was related to Caligula and just gives you this lame introduction for her character, which could have worked a bit better if it had been directed with some kind of skill.

This is a motif throughout the whole film, in fact, and is part of the reason why it's so boring. Capable filmmakers shoot establishing shots of scenes that are framed so that we can see everything we need to see. The camera then provides close-ups of actors or action or significant details to make us feel involved in the action. "Caligula and Messalina" does the first part of this, and just seems to leave it at that. The camera is always too far away. If the director can't get us involved in the story, he could at least give us a good look at the sex and nudity the movie is chock full of, but alas, we don't get that either. The distance between the camera and the actors, and the generally poor camera angles, leaves most of the nudity hard to make out.

I'm pretty sure that if you are unfortunate enough to watch this movie, there's only one thing about it you will remember, and that is the two scenes of horses mating. One was more than enough, but "Caligula and Messalina" inexplicably includes two such scenes. Was Bruno Mattei, the filmmaker, actually trying to cause harm to his audience by making us watch this?

Made to cash in on the notoriety of Tinto Brass's 1979 movie 'Caligula', Italian trashmeister Bruno Mattei's 'Caligula and Messalina' is packed to the gills with depravity. Despite lacking the hardcore action and graphic gore to be found in Brass's movie, Mattei's production (available on German DVD in an uncut 108 minute version) is still fairly entertaining stuff.

John Turner stars as nutty Roman Emperor Caligula, who commits incest with his sisters, makes his horse a member of the Senate, and executes the innocent on a whim.

Messalina (played by gorgeous Betty Roland) is a power-hungry nymphomaniac who will stop at nothing to become Empress of Rome. She brings herself to the attention of Caligula by battling in the gladiator arena and it is not long before she achieves her goal, upsetting the Emperor's youngest sister Agrippina, who hopes that her son Nero will eventually become ruler of Rome.

Agrippina successfully plots Caligula's downfall, but Messalina rains on her parade by immediately jumping into the sack with his successor, Claudius. But naughty old Messalina can't commit herself to one man, and shags everyone in sight, including a grotesque, but well-endowed, frequenter of brothels, a randy midget, her eunuch(!?!?) and an ex-lover. When she ends up pregnant, and it is obvious that the father is not Claudius (since he has been away fighting in foreign lands), Agrippina finally sees her opportunity to be rid of her nemesis once and for all.

Chock full of graphic sleaze (nudity, simulated sex, Bacchanalian orgies, rape and buggery), this movie is definitely not one for the easily offended. And if none of that bothers you, then the graphic scenes of horses and donkeys getting jiggy will probably do the trick. Surprisingly, in contrast, the violence is pretty low-key, with most of it happening off screen.

Mattei, obviously working with a low budget, resorts to padding his movie with footage from other films, particularly for crowd scenes requiring many extras, but to be fair it all works pretty well. 'Caligula and Messalina' is fun slice of schlock entertainment and is worth a viewing for fans of historical exploitation, but those hoping for the polished look and excesses of its more famous predecessor may be disappointed.

A laughable Italian exploitation, that uses stock footage from old sword and sandal epics. Certainly not the best example in the genre. Bruno Mattei, was indeed a prolific B-movie director (of 55 titles) and was working right up to his death until 2007.

I like Tinto Brass' Caligula a lot - it's a daring piece and a visually fine crafted one. Two years later, in 1981, Caligula et Messaline was published - this flick is something like the pulp/trash version of Caligula: like in the work of Brass you get a lot of nudity and some violence, but everything is heavily tainted by schlock and the smell of cheese. Most of those scenes of softporn and violence are not shocking or erotic but rather funny. Anyway, Caligula et Messaline is to a certain degree entertaining - if you like that sword and sandal genre in general, this one spiced up with some wannabe (sex)ploitation. Final words: one of those movies who you can rightly claim guilt pleasure if you are able to enjoy the trip from start to end.