La tana del serpente bianco

I'm not going to strain my brain trying to work out just what Ken Russell was trying to achieve with 'The Lair Of The White Worm', but he ended up with a semi-classic slice of campy, sleazy trash that is full of nudge, nudge, wink, wink smutty humor. There's absolutely no way anyone could take this one seriously! I haven't read Bram Stoker's novel so I don't know how much the movie has to do with it, but Russell takes EVERY opportunity for to show a phallic symbol or a puerile gag, and that, added to the tongue in cheek performances from the cast (especially Peter Capaldi, Hugh Grant and the delicious Amanda Donohoe), makes this one of the silliest and most entertaining movies you'll ever see. Donohoe is just brilliant, the monster is cheesy, the blatant gags will make you roll your eyes and groan, and there are a few extraordinary Russell touches in the very brief, quasi-psychedelic "visions" experienced by a few of the characters. 'The Lair Of The White Worm' is certainly not for everybody, but there's nothing else quite like it, not even in Russell's very strange ouevre, and if you "get it" it's a complete hoot!

I've heard the complaints before, from men of all walks of life: "SHE wants to watch some syrupy romantic slush starring Hugh Grant, I want to watch something with hot, naked, snake-worshipping chicks!"

Well, complain no more! Here's a flick that's got both in one! That's right, England-cum-America's favorite foppish, eye-lid-fluttering sex symbol does battle with naked half-snake-half-human devil worshippers, giant white worms, and the forces of evil!

Well, actually Hugh only kills one snake-human hybrid, and it's an old lady. And he keeps pretty far away from the action-packed finale face-off, letting his odd shut-in pal Angus do all the fighting. But you DO get to see the star of "Notting Hill" slice an old lady in half with a broad sword, and that alone is worth the price of admission!

I enjoyed this movie, what with it's quaint, folksy atmosphere, it's kilt-wearin' heroes, and it's sexy villainess who seduces a hapless boy scout (!) into entering her hot tub of evil. There's even public-access-esque dream sequences where a Sid & Marty Krofft-type snake puppet molests Jesus Christ while nuns are tortured- and who doesn't want to see that?

A very strange movie, to say the least.

'Dr. Who' actor Peter Capaldi plays Angus Flint, an archaeology student who unearths a strange skull from the grounds of a bed & breakfast, where a convent had existed once upon a time. Meanwhile, the seductively sexy young Lady Sylvia Marsh (Amanda Donohoe) returns to her neighboring home, and more weird things are soon happening. It turns out, there is a local legend in the area, of a nobleman who'd vanquished a hideous reptilian beast - not literally a "worm" - centuries ago. Also mixed up in the plot are that noblemans' descendant, James D'Ampton (Hugh Grant), and lovely sisters Mary (Sammi Davis) and Eve (Catherine Oxenberg).

The director is Ken Russell of such classics as "The Devils", and he also produced and adapted the novel by "Dracula" creator Bram Stoker. So we know going in to expect a fair amount of outrageousness. Fortunately, this film never does get out of control, but it combines some sober drama with some very campy and sometimes hilarious horror. Clearly, it's not meant to be taken all that seriously, especially when we consider the crudely done fantasy sequences envisioned by the characters and the audience. (People who are easily offended will undoubtedly be put off by some of this imagery.) The makeup is amusing, but what's really a hoot is the beast itself, Dionin. Excellent ___location shooting adds atmosphere.

The actors, commendably, maintain serious expressions. Although he's reputed to refuse to talk about this film, Grant does a good, droll job. Capaldi is a decent hero who, at one point, attempts to attract a reptilian presence by putting on a kilt and playing the bagpipes. Oxenberg and Davis look appropriately scared, Stratford Johns is a solid presence as the butler Peters, and Donohoe, often dressed in very sexy outfits, does appear to be having some real fun as the villainess.

A truly frightening film this is not, but it's quite entertaining just the same.

Eight out of 10.

Supposedly based on a novel by Bram Stoker, LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM is an exercise in high camp surrealism for maverick British director Ken Russell. Russell crafts a unique film that mixes a solid mystery narrative with some terribly crude symbolism, some outrageously bad taste moments, and more camp sequences than you can shake a stick at. Quality-wise it's very poor in places, but at the same time it's rather amusing and, dare I say it, fun.

DR WHO star Peter Capaldi plays a youthful Scots archaeologist who digs up the skull of a god in somebody's back garden - as you do. Meanwhile, Hugh Grant is a splendidly upper class toff - what else? - whose ancestor was the chap who killed the Lambton worm. And then there's dangerous seductress Amanda Donohoe, having a ball as a femme fatale hiding a dark secret in the depths of her country pile.

LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM certainly contains some unforgettable moments, most of them involving the moments when Donohoe's true form is revealed; the makeup appears to homage Barbara Steele's character in CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR. There are some fun special effects here, alongside THOSE unforgettable nightmare sequences which are the stand-out highlights for me. The ending is neatly achieved and there's a nice supporting role for character actor Paul Brooke playing the local copper. Truly this is a one-of-a-kind production that has to be seen to be believed.

Before Hugh Grant hit the big-time playing floppy-haired fops in rom-coms, he mostly played floppy haired-fops in costume period dramas; an exception to this was Ken Russell's The Lair of The White Worm (1988), in which Hugh went against type by playing modern-day floppy-haired fop Lord James D'Ampton, who teams up with archaeologist Angus Flint (played by the new Doctor Who, Peter Capaldi) and B&B owner Mary Trent (Sammi Davis) to defeat a pagan snake-woman (Amanda Donohoe) who worships a giant, ancient, subterranean wyrm (another name for dragon).

This being a Russell movie, there is plenty of surreal weirdness on offer, with psychedelic dream sequences, Christian-baiting blasphemous imagery, phallic symbolism, and cheap titillation courtesy of Donohoe, who spends a lot of her time naked, and Catherine Oxenberg, who is stripped to her undies as a sacrifice for the creature. However, what could have been extremely controversial actually proves to be rather amusing thanks to the director's tongue-in-cheek B-movie approach (some might call it 'camp') and the tacky special effects; ultimately, this is silly, harmless fun for the cult movie crowd.

6.5 out of 10, rounded up to 7 for the Concorde dream sequence, which is downright trippy.