Robot Ninja

I bought this movie for six dollars at this place that smelled like green beans. I thought it'd be cool, because I adore both robots AND ninjas. I feel I enjoy them equally. Both are enriching, and make for splendid film components, be it sci-fi, drama, or what have you. May I state here that this horrid film contains neither a robot nor a ninja. It does not even feature a robot that happens to be a ninja, or vice-versa, as the title would seem to imply. Rather, it is about a comic-book artist who is angry that there is crime, and decides to dress up like a comic book guy and mutilate people in disgustingly low-budget ways. The lead character is by far the least likable character in the movie, which says a lot since many of the other characters are in fact rapists. None of the violence is at all realistic, or at least I hope it doesn't look that gross when you poke people's eyes out. Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward are both in it, for whatever reason. They must be astonishingly poverty-stricken. Anyway, you won't like this, and I'm sorry I purchased it. You should probably destroy any copies you are able to get your hands on. Please do so now.

A friend rented this movie a few years ago are a party, and a few people ran to the bathroom to puke their guts out. This movie is basically low-budget violence for the sake of low-budget violence, done in an incredibly disturbing and violent way. Unlike other movies that disturb you and are thought-provoking, this just leaves you feeling cheap, dirty, and sick to your stomach. No good story, terrible acting, obviously no budget. This could have not even looked good on paper. If you take pleasure in seeing a man get his forearm stabbed repeatedly by a girl gang, only to have him stick a metal plate into the wound, this is the movie for you.

Even as a fan of really, really bad movies, this is too much. The Robot Ninja is neither a robot or a ninja. There's a lame Mike Meyers joke in there somewhere.

The movie couldn't have cost more than like $20, and honestly, my friend and some kids he knew in high school came up with a vastly superior film over the course of a summer in rural Massachusetts.Regardless, its worse than <i> Matrix Revolutions</i> but not so bad as <i> House of the Dead</i>.

1.5 out of 10.372 on the secret Calculando Calrissian scale. (That isn't good)

Me and my brother rented this when we were about 10 and 11. You know ninja's were cool back in the mid 90's. Even back then we decided that this was garbage. Don't eva eva eva buy or rent this. It is a disgrace to the ninja movie era. Ninja turtles, surf ninja's, those were awesome they just went over board here I guess. The way that the ninja fights in this is horrible what was the guy thinking an artist to a crimefighter. Place this film in a capsule and fire it into the sun with your milli vanillie cd's. Plain and simple don't waste your money. If you really want to see ninja's in action, get a hold of ninja vs. shaolin or revenge of the ninja. Just don't give up hope for martial arts flicks.

Don't get me wrong, I rented because it looked so bad... call me a masochist. I'll never have that hour and a half back. But I look at it as a positive experience, now I know what NOT to do if I ever make a movie. I especially love when he repairs his arm with the junk on the table, and how the lead bad girl rapes the guy. How does a woman rape a man? Oh well. Like I said, it was fun, but only because it was so bad it was good. Don't rent it expecting anything other than a good laugh at these poor souls' expense.