Daniel Stern: Marv

Mamma, ho riperso l'aereo: Mi sono smarrito a New York

Marv

[Marv stands in the doorway of the under re-construction brownhouse, in front of a big hole in the floor]
Marv: Harry, I've reached the top!
[Marv steps forward and falls through the hole to the very bottom of the house, in the basement]

Harry: [opens the cash register and steals money from it] Merry Christmas, Harry.
Marv: [opens the money chest and steals money from it, too] Happy Hanukkah, Marv.

Harry: [while Harry and Marv are robbing Duncan's Toy Chest, Kevin takes their picture] He took our picture!
Marv: How'd my hair look?

Marv: Let's kill!
Harry: Hold on, peabrain. We got busted last time because we underestimated that little bundle of misery.
Marv: This ain't like the last time. This ain't his house. The kid's running scared. He ain't got a plan.
Harry: May I do the thinking, please?

Marv: He made us hide out in the store so we could steal all the kiddies' charity money.
Harry: [Kicks Marv] Shut up, Marv! Got the right to remain silent, you know.
Marv: He's a little cranky. We just broke out of prison a few days ago.
Harry: [Kicks Marv again] Shut up, Marv! Geez.
Policeman: Get'em outta here.
Marv: Remember, if this makes the papers, we're no longer the Wet Bandits, we're the Sticky Bandits!
Harry: [Kicks Marv again] Shut up!
Marv: That's S...
Harry: [Kicks Marv again] Shut up!
Marv: ...T...
[Gets kicked again]
Marv: Ummm...
Harry: I.
Marv: ...I...

Harry: [Yelling up to Kevin] Sonny.
Kevin McCallister: Yeah!
Harry: Nothing would make me happier than to kill you. Knockin' off a youngster doesn't mean a lot to me. But, since we're in a hurry, I'll make a deal with you. Throw down your camera, and we won't hurt you, you'll never hear from us again.
Kevin McCallister: You promise?
Harry: [Rubbing his chest with his finger] I cross my heart and hope to die.
Kevin McCallister: Okay.
Harry: Okay, kid. Give it to me.
[Then Kevin picks up a brick and tosses it down, hitting Marv and he collapses to the ground]
Kevin McCallister: Direct hit!
Harry: [Holds up his fingers] How many fingers am I holding up, Marv?
Marv: [Dazed] Uh, eight.
Harry: [to Kevin] Okay, kid. You wanna throw bricks, go ahead and throw another one.
[Kevin throws another brick and it hits Marv]
Harry: If you can't do any better than that kid, you're gonna lose.
Marv: Harry, no.
[Kevin throws down another brick, hitting Marv again]
Harry: You got anymore?
[to Marv]
Harry: C'mon Marv! Get up! He don't got anymore bricks. He's out of 'em.
[Marv points up and makes incoherent noises, signaling that Kevin is about to throw another brick]
Harry: What?
[Kevin throws the brick, and once again hits Marv]
Harry: That did it! Nobody throws bricks at me and gets away with it.
[to Marv]
Harry: C'mon Marv. Get up. You go this way, I'll go around back.
Marv: [Still Dazed] Harry. Harry. Harry.

Harry: What store is going to make the most cash on Christmas Eve that nobody's gonna think to rob?
Marv: Candy stores!
Harry: Nine-year-olds rob candy stores, Marv. This is what I had in mind.
[shows him an ad for Duncan's Toy Chest]
Marv: That's brilliant, Harry. Brilliant.
Harry: Yep. There's nobody dumb enough to knock off a toy store on Christmas Eve.
Marv: Oh yes, there is.
[Points to Harry, then points to self]

Marv: [looks up after falling through a huge hole in the floor] Whoa! What a hole!

Marv: [they catch Kevin] You may have won the battle, little dude, but you lost the war.

[Marv has just had a brick dropped on his head from three stories up and is reeling on the sidewalk]
Harry: [holding up three fingers on one hand] Marv, how many fingers am I holding up?
Marv: Uh, hmmmmmm, eight?

Harry: I hate pulling a job knowing that little creep is on the loose.
Marv: Yeah, but what can he do? He's a kid. Kids are helpless.
Harry: Not this kid.
Marv: Yeah, but this time he doesn't have a house full of dangerous goodies to get us with. He's in the park. He's alone. Kids are scared of the park.
Harry: Yeah. Grown men come into the park and never leave alive. Good luck, little fella.

Marv: [stealing money from Duncan's Toy Chest] This is more money than I can even count.
Harry: I don't know why we wasted so much time robbing private homes.
Marv: [stuffing the bag with cash] The amazing thing is: we're fugitives from the law, we're up to our elbows in cash, and there's nobody that even knows about it.
[Kevin taps on the window and waves]
Harry: He's back!