Rip Torn nel ruolo di...
General Dick Panzer
- General Panzer: What do you want to do, sir? About Russia, sir?
- U.S. President: Yeah, why don't we call up and find out who's in charge over there this week.
- General Panzer: Why don't we just go up there with a strike force and knock out their infrastructure quicker than you can say collateral damage?
- Smiley: No!
- U.S. President: Oh no, no.
- General Panzer: Why not?
- U.S. President: Yeah, yeah, why not?
- Smiley: Because a war with Canada would be over in a matter of days. Do you remember Grenada? They didn't even wake Reagan up.
- General Panzer: Didn't have to.
- Smiley: And all we found there were a bunch of rich American med school rejects and a couple Cuban construction workers
- General Panzer: That's liberal bullshit! Cuba had a division in there.
- Smiley: What about Panama? A couple of days of blasting Def Leppard over loud speakers and Noriega ran out weeping. And Iraq, ha! They were supposed to have this big bad army.
- General Panzer: They had the biggest cannon, invented by a Canadian.
- Smiley: In 72 hours after we invade they're begging for a Big Mack.
- General Panzer: They stopped us a hundred miles short of Baghdad and we just sat there waving our dicks in the desert.
- Smiley: Mr. President do you want more of that, or 50 years of Cold War prosperity because Joe Schmo American is scared shitless the world's gonna end before the next commercial.
- U.S. President: Well, I think I like Mr. Smiley's approach.
- General Panzer: Let me level with you, sir. I would destroy any nation - even my own - if my president gave the order.
- Smiley: How do you know that was a nuclear facility?
- General Panzer: Well, they tricked us on that one. That's a hospital. But it's a hell of a strike!
- Secretary of State: We were thinking, what could be a bigger threat than aliens invading from space?
- General Panzer: Ooh boy! Scare the shit out of everyone. Even me, sir!
- U.S. President: Jesus, is this the best you could come up with? What about, ya know, international terrorism?
- General Panzer: Well, sir, we're not going to re-open missile factories just to fight some creeps running around in exploding rental cars, are we, sir?