Aggiungi una trama nella tua linguaFour convicts become embroiled in what seems like an easy way to get a million dollars. Enlisted to pick up a sealed box and guard it for one day, the four men let their curiosity take over ... Leggi tuttoFour convicts become embroiled in what seems like an easy way to get a million dollars. Enlisted to pick up a sealed box and guard it for one day, the four men let their curiosity take over and decide to look at its contents.Four convicts become embroiled in what seems like an easy way to get a million dollars. Enlisted to pick up a sealed box and guard it for one day, the four men let their curiosity take over and decide to look at its contents.
- Regia
- Sceneggiatura
- Star
- Premi
- 3 candidature totali
Foto
DawnMarie Ferrara
- Lauren
- (as DawnMarie Velasquez)
Peter Sean Maloney
- Robin
- (as Peter Sean)
Recensioni in evidenza
There is so much to say about this film. None of it is good. Sometimes I wonder if film festivals, and Artisan Entertainment in particular exist so weirdos and nutcases, i.e. people who truly should NOT be allowed to make movies, can make movies. Don't take my statement wrong. Film festivals often ensure that worthy directors, writers, actors, etc., hit the spotlight and have a chance to become great. I KNOW this. But geez, with stuff like this coming out of them... violence for the sake of violence, murder, extremely thinly veiled references to sex and sex objects (I mean the disinfectant scene with the worm makes you suspect, but then she talks about the worm being phallic just in case we were mysteriously struck blind), and the language are almost unforgivable. We're supposed to believe that they're criminals and that criminals swear naturally, but to imagine these people as felons we'd have to be on drugs. The lead protagonist, while attempting to play someone who's tough and not afraid to die, is so pathetically thin and pale that you simply can't believe he's done time. His 'Second In Command', so to speak, cries at one point in the movie because the other felons 'make fun of him'. Another of the four criminals, played by Dave Pressler, actually gives a good shot at doing his part, and you really feel for him at a couple of points during the movie. The last, the woman playing Lauren, has so few lines of dialogue that you can't really tell if she's a good actor or not. Maybe that's a good thing.
The last gripe I have is about the 'special effects'. Most of them are extremely over done. Bullet holes smoke like a Yosemite Sam cartoon, ricochets throw off bright blue sparks like downed power lines, during a chase scene that should never have happened in the first place everyone seems to be on roller skates (I can just HEAR the smug voice of the writer/producer saying to himself 'oooh, it's art') and idiotic little squealing tire and whoosh effects accompany actor movements from time to time that just leave you shaking your head and trying hard to stop the fingers of one of your hands from pressing the eject button. I maybe should have given in, it had more sense than I did. By the way, are the drag queens an attempt to satirize the lifestyle or were their parts simply a favor done for someone in the movie biz to get the video distributed? They are unnecessary and rather... sickening.
An EXTREMELY pointless and slow-witted movie with one or two funny and/or interesting scenes (read 10 seconds) which is why I gave it a 2/10 and not 1/10. Oooh, look, it's art!
-The Dude
The last gripe I have is about the 'special effects'. Most of them are extremely over done. Bullet holes smoke like a Yosemite Sam cartoon, ricochets throw off bright blue sparks like downed power lines, during a chase scene that should never have happened in the first place everyone seems to be on roller skates (I can just HEAR the smug voice of the writer/producer saying to himself 'oooh, it's art') and idiotic little squealing tire and whoosh effects accompany actor movements from time to time that just leave you shaking your head and trying hard to stop the fingers of one of your hands from pressing the eject button. I maybe should have given in, it had more sense than I did. By the way, are the drag queens an attempt to satirize the lifestyle or were their parts simply a favor done for someone in the movie biz to get the video distributed? They are unnecessary and rather... sickening.
An EXTREMELY pointless and slow-witted movie with one or two funny and/or interesting scenes (read 10 seconds) which is why I gave it a 2/10 and not 1/10. Oooh, look, it's art!
-The Dude
i can honestly say this movie has haunted me since the night i watched it 11 years ago when i was 9 yrs old. my mother would often rent me and my little brother movies, particularly horror films, and then would obviously leave us alone to watch them while she went about her business. So as you can imagine, me and my brother were very confused at what exactly we were viewing, me being 9 him 7. The scene that is forever burned into my mind was when the girl had some sort of sexual encounter with the giant penis worm alien, who had some sort of penis worm alien tentacle if i recall correctly. Who knows? maybe i created this disturbing memory, or could it be real? i haven't seen the movie since so i don't know the answer. Confused is an understatement. Side note: my mother often just picked a movie according to the cover art without further investigation, so me and my bro always ended up watching some kind of soft core porn as a result, this one being a fonder memory, along with movies that featured topless women answering telephone calls or doing topless detective work on some sort of tropical island resort. fond memories, good childhood.
This movie has to be the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. This movie is the definition of B-Movie's It's horrible, and not even funny horrible! Some films your just like wow that was so bad it's funny, but no, with this movie your like, wow that was so bad it makes me want to rip out and swollow my own eyes. Even though it is the worst movie ever made you should still watch it, just to be able to say I have seen the most HORRIBLE movie ever created!
Thats all I have to say! Bye
hor·ri·ble Pronunciation Key (hôr-bl, hr-) adj. 1. Arousing or tending to arouse horror; dreadful: `War is beyond all words horrible' (Winston S. Churchill). 2. Very unpleasant; disagreeable. 3. The movie "The Item"
Thats all I have to say! Bye
hor·ri·ble Pronunciation Key (hôr-bl, hr-) adj. 1. Arousing or tending to arouse horror; dreadful: `War is beyond all words horrible' (Winston S. Churchill). 2. Very unpleasant; disagreeable. 3. The movie "The Item"
I admit that when I rented this movie I was consciously searching for bad horror. For the first ten minutes I just stared at the screen in confusion. And then as soon as the shooting started (Alex: "I gotta pee...") I was laughing my ass off. I loved this movie. I loved the symbolism, and I loved the fact that Alex told the artsy chick that her art was obvious (I am not a fan of art, by and large). I thought the actors were stellar, and their performances very nearly made you forget that the "monster" ("monkey?") of the movie was a rather poorly designed puppet covered in vaseline. In films of this budget it is uncommon to find an entire cast that can hold their own. I did adore Alex, but I think Martin was my favorite!!!
The experience of watching this movie is akin to watching a train wreck and loathing yourself for the indulgence afterward.
There's virtually nothing redeeming that I can say about this exercise in cinematic excrement.
Correction, there IS one. While perhaps not the worst movie ever made - so long as Battlefield Earth is still in circulation - this movie is DEFINITELY the worst digital-video-transferred-to-film flick yet to come down the pipe (notice the sewer analogy there).
Simply put, the film is a mess. It reeks of pretentiousness, is chock full of bad acting (and after watching it I really don't know or care if the acting was intentionally bad or just naturally so), terrible writing and a completely lame and pointless plot.
The real villains of this film are Artisan, the same company that brought the Blair Witch Project to cinema screens.
These jokers have pulled every lie and deceptive marketing trick in the book in packaging this travesty.
To begin, there's the box cover art, followed by the plot outline on the back. Taken together one is led to believe that the film is a grade B thriller with an interesting story premise.
WRONG!
If only it were that. Instead of a simple yet crackerjack story about four people who act as go-betweens in the purchase of a strange creature locked in a box, we are treated to gobbledygook that involves copious and ludicrous gunplay, a battle to the death with ninja transvestites, and a creature that looks like a modified Doc Johnson sex toy that psychoanalyses its victims to death.
There is only one way to get anything remotely resembling payback on your rental investment, not to mention the 90 minutes of your life that it will end up wasting, and that is to watch it with some friends where you can mock the thing to scorn. Just make sure there aren't any bricks handy as someone might very well be tempted to lob one at the TV fairly early on.
There's virtually nothing redeeming that I can say about this exercise in cinematic excrement.
Correction, there IS one. While perhaps not the worst movie ever made - so long as Battlefield Earth is still in circulation - this movie is DEFINITELY the worst digital-video-transferred-to-film flick yet to come down the pipe (notice the sewer analogy there).
Simply put, the film is a mess. It reeks of pretentiousness, is chock full of bad acting (and after watching it I really don't know or care if the acting was intentionally bad or just naturally so), terrible writing and a completely lame and pointless plot.
The real villains of this film are Artisan, the same company that brought the Blair Witch Project to cinema screens.
These jokers have pulled every lie and deceptive marketing trick in the book in packaging this travesty.
To begin, there's the box cover art, followed by the plot outline on the back. Taken together one is led to believe that the film is a grade B thriller with an interesting story premise.
WRONG!
If only it were that. Instead of a simple yet crackerjack story about four people who act as go-betweens in the purchase of a strange creature locked in a box, we are treated to gobbledygook that involves copious and ludicrous gunplay, a battle to the death with ninja transvestites, and a creature that looks like a modified Doc Johnson sex toy that psychoanalyses its victims to death.
There is only one way to get anything remotely resembling payback on your rental investment, not to mention the 90 minutes of your life that it will end up wasting, and that is to watch it with some friends where you can mock the thing to scorn. Just make sure there aren't any bricks handy as someone might very well be tempted to lob one at the TV fairly early on.
Lo sapevi?
- QuizFeatured on The Item, the Crawlers, and Blood Lock (2014) from RedLetterMedia. It was not the best of the worst.
- ConnessioniFeatured in Best of the Worst: The Item, the Crawlers, and Blood Lock (2014)
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Dettagli
- Data di uscita
- Paese di origine
- Lingua
- Celebre anche come
- El baúl
- Luoghi delle riprese
- Buttes in Palmdale, California, Stati Uniti(chase scene in desert at sunset)
- Aziende produttrici
- Vedi altri crediti dell’azienda su IMDbPro
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