Final Examination

I don't know the last time I even thought about Skinemax films. Oh right, when I was a teenager. No acting ability, no plot, and female nudity showcased in the lamest most exploitive way. Don't even bother.

This god-awful turkey is one of those flaccid b-movies which is half b-thriller and half soft-core pornography. Fans of neither will be satisfied. The thriller material seems like filler quickly thrown together to pad out the time between the skin scenes and those scenes seem like filler put in fill time in between the thriller movie scenes. The porn bits I can't imagine would be particularly satisfying to even the most undiscerning watcher of soft-core material. Basically, lots of plastic bimbos and dudes grinding away in a mechanical and decidedly un-erotic fashion at irregular intervals. Actually, pretty much the entire film seems like filler material in terms of execution and development.

The fact lead actress Kari Wuhrer is in the position of the actress considered respectable enough to not have at least one gratuitous boob shot is indicative of the quality of the film given her oeuvre and work ethic. Pretty much everything about this movie is bad and every scene incompetently staged in terms of script, direction, acting and editing. It would take more time than it's worth to list and describe every inadequacy present in Final Examination. Obviously this isn't a subgenre that sets high standards, really only existing to provide a few cheap thrills and some T&A but this movie, and most others like it are just painful to watch, failing to provide any real entertainment on any level, even in providing those simple elements. The only bits that work on a so bad it's almost entertaining level are the car chases, which are quite obviously mostly footage from another far higher budget movie clumsily spliced with shots of characters from the movie we're watching. What makes these particular scenes even dumber is how little they have to do with the rest of the movie- both chases are possibly even more gratuitous than the numerous sex scenes. The tone and amount of in jokiness is indicative that the movie is not meant to be taken seriously and only meant to be a bit of fun but the problem is that it isn't. The inclusion of character called 'Hugh Janus' and the way the movie clumsily brings attention to this lame and rather childish joke is indicative of the level of script there is here. Avoid this movie.

Final Examination is a murder mystery film and not what the front cover suggests. No supernatural element here, just a good old fashioned who done it.

Starring Kari "Sliders" Wuhrer we see a girl killed off during a hawaiian sorority reunion and a new cop transferred in from the big city is on the case. Teamed up with Wuhrer who is a terrible actress but on better than usual form here, it plods along like a standard made for television movie and provides no surprises.

For what it is it's not terrible, it looks solid, it sounds solid and the writing is competent.

What let's it down is just the overwhelming unoriginality and just how predictible the whole thing is.

If by the halfway point you haven't worked things out then I would find that all kinds of concerning.

For fans of murder mysterys this is lackluster, for every else.........worse.

The Good:

All made competently enough

The Bad:

Unoriginal

Very by the numbers

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

When a killer is loose within a resort it makes perfect sense to go off alone......at night

Hugh Janus is a realistic name to use in a serious movie

Artisan really cheats with this movie by labelling it as a thriller/horror. As many have stated, it's just soft-soft core. The acting is abysmal, the story goes nowhere, the deaths are clumsily choreographed and well, all in all, it's a big pile of nothing. From the car chase scenes in the opening, it's apparent that this film had some sort of budget but it's never properly used. The women who are supposed to be the hot ones are rather nasty about the face, they are completely made of plastic and couldn't act their way out of a paper bag. Neither can the two leads, Huff and Wuhrer. Huff has a wooden delivery and doesn't even seem to want to kiss the women he has scenes with (and who would want to? He could get plastic poisoning) and Wuhrer's voice is almost completely shot. She can't even pronounce some words as they are out of her range. (Listen for her phone conversation when she can't say the word "suicide.")

This is a terrible movie. It has no redeeming values and deserves to gather dust on a shelf. If you want a great sorority girls thriller, rent Black Christmas instead.

This is definitely no masterpiece, but it is halfway decent. Considering the fact that it looks like something you'd see on Showtime late at night, it is fairly well done. And the car chases are good for a film of its budget. The acting, on the other hand, is atrocious. The very pretty Kari Wuhrer is a good actress, but the rest of the cast seem to be delivering their lines in their sleep. Brent Huff, who plays the lead, is especially horrible. He's so stonefaced that he makes Vin Diesel look like a Shakesperean actor. Other than Kari, the women aren't terribly attractive, but they have nice bodies. It's basically softcore porn. Not all these types of actresses are beauty queens. As long as their bra sizes are at least C-cups, they qualify. But unlike most of these softcore movies, there is a storyline and it is semi-interesting. And that's what makes this film adequate entertainment. Plus, as a side note, there is a Jim Wynorski in-joke that should amuse B-movie fans.

My score: 5 (out of 10)