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Hatchet (2006)

Joel Murray: Doug Shapiro

Hatchet

Joel Murray nel ruolo di...

Doug Shapiro

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Citazioni6

  • Shapiro: Have you ever heard of Bayou Beavers?
  • Shapiro: They probably got stuck just like we did and had to walk the whole way home. Right now they're probably sitting in a Denny's or something.
  • Marcus: Moons Over My Hammy, yo.
  • Jim Permatteo: Nice camera, you making a movie?
  • Shapiro: Yeah.
  • Jim Permatteo: [to Shannon] Well, what do you know, lovekins? We've got ourselves a director over here!
  • Shannon Permatteo: How exciting! What kind of movie is it?
  • Shapiro: Well, have you ever heard of Bayou Beavers?
  • Jim Permatteo: [enthusiastically] Sure!
  • Shannon Permatteo: [confused] No.
  • Jim Permatteo: [realizing his wife is sitting right next to him] No.
  • Misty: [after hearing the legend of Victor Crowley from Marybeth] Do you believe that Victor... whatever story?
  • Shapiro: Absolutely not. I don't trust anyone around here. I mean, these people sleep exclusively with their own families.
  • Shapiro: Tell me this is part of the tour.
  • Shawn: Oh, yeah, I sink the boat every night. It's hilarious.
  • Shawn: Are y'all ready to see something really scary? Huh? Are you all ready? Everyone who's ready say, "Oh yeah!"
  • [silence]
  • Shawn: Okay, I'm gonna do it anyway. Here we go.
  • [stops the boat]
  • Shawn: Okay, folks. I'm gonna shut the lights off for a second. And once your eyes adjust, you'll be able to see some of the ghost lights just hovering above the water over to the right at Kwaj Island.
  • [powers off the lights on the boat]
  • Shawn: [moments pass]
  • Jenna: I don't see anything.
  • Shawn: Uh, just wait 'til your eyes adjust.
  • Misty: They're adjusted, there's just nothing there.
  • Shapiro: Hey, can we get those lights going again? You're killing all my camera shots.
  • [suddenly, marsh vapors start materializing]
  • Shannon Permatteo: Jim, look! I think I see something!
  • Shawn: That's right! Yeah, you see? Not one, but TWO ghosts! See? I told y'all!
  • Jim Permatteo: Isn't that just a chemical reaction from the water and the gases?
  • Shawn: NO NO NO, MAN! It's the ghosts! Look!
  • Marcus: Nah, bro. Those are marsh vapors. I've seen this on TV.
  • Shawn: [frustrated] Hell, man, why'd ya even all come then? They're ghosts!
  • Marcus: Oh, you're right!
  • [pause]
  • Marcus: Except no.
  • [Marcus and Jenna laugh. Marcus looks over to see Jenna scratching her crotch; he takes his arm away from behind her on the seat]
  • Marcus: Dammit...

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