- Marty Comer: They say never meet your heroes, but to them I say, you've never met President William Matthew Derringer.
- Sam Clarke: Your initials are W.M.D.?
- Will Derringer: Yeah. Pretty bitchin', right?
- Will Derringer: Alright, I get it, you don't like my movies.
- Sam Clarke: I've never seen your movies.
- Will Derringer: Because Sam Clarke is the man who does not like to be entertained.
- Sam Clarke: No, it's 'cause I like actual cinema.
- Sam Clarke: I hope Keanu gifted you some kung fu lessons 'cause we're about to get our arses kicked.
- Will Derringer: You want to warm up together? Do some breathing exercises?
- Sam Clarke: I'm already breathing.