President Barack Obama

Zach Galifianakis - Host: So where are you planning on building your presidential library? in Hawaii or in your home country of Kenya? Because both places seem like they would be...

Barack Obama: That's a ridiculous question

Zach Galifianakis - Host: I didn't want to bring up the birth certificate, which you never really produce...

Barack Obama: Where's your birth certificate? Why don't you show it to us right now?

Zach Galifianakis - Host: don't show anybody my birth certificate because it's embarrassing

Barack Obama: What's embarrassing about it?

Zach Galifianakis - Host: My weight, it says on it I was born seven pounds, eight hundred ounces

Barack Obama: [remains silent]

Zach Galifianakis - Host: You know what I would do if I was President Mr. President? I would make same sex divorce illegal then see how bad they want it

Barack Obama: I think that's why you're not president and that's a good thing

Zach Galifianakis - Host: You said if you had a son you would not let him play football, what makes you think he would want to play football? What if he was a nerd? Like you

Barack Obama: Do you think a woman like Michelle would marry a nerd? Why don't you ask her if she thinks I'm a nerd?

Zach Galifianakis - Host: [surprised] Could I?

Barack Obama: No I'm not going to let her near you

Zach Galifianakis - Host: So do you go to any websites that are dot coms or dot nets or do you mainly stick with dot govs.

Barack Obama: No actually we go to dot govs. Have you heard of Healthcare.gov?

Zach Galifianakis - Host: OK let's get this out of the way, what did you come here to plug?

Barack Obama: Well first of all I think it's fair to say that I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't have something to plug, have you heard of the Affordable Care Act?

Zach Galifianakis - Host: Oh yeah I've heard about that, that's the thing that doesn't work, why would you get the guy that created "The Zoone" to create your website?

Barack Obama: Healthcare.gov works great now and millions of Americans have already gotten health care plans and what we want is to people to know that you can get affordable health care and most young Americans right now, they're not covered and the truth is that they can get coverage all for what it'd cost you for you to pay your cell phone bill

Zach Galifianakis - Host: Is this what you mean by "drones"?

Barack Obama: The point is that a lot of young people think that they're invincible.

Zach Galifianakis - Host: Did you say "invisible"? Because I think that's impossible

Barack Obama: No not "invisible", "invincible" meaning that they don't think that they can't get hurt