Matrimoni pericolosi

A misbehaving boy doesn't want to spend another long night in the basement. We don't see much bad stuff there, but the basement must be an insufferable punishment. The boy pushes his mother down her long and winding staircase with his baseball bat. In our lad's defense, she did ask him to, "Give me the bat." She got the bat. Many years later, our blond lad has grown up to be dark-haired Christopher Russell (as Jay Morgan). He's now getting married, to beautiful Shenae Grimes-Beech (as Kristen Ward). While it was a sudden marriage, but Mr. Russell is model-perfect and lives in a paradise filled with spacious rooms and champagne. This type of teleplay seldom turns out well for the bride, but Ms. Grimes-Beech apparently doesn't watch "Lifetime" TV movies...

One interesting error involves Russell's aunt, Venus Terzo (as Barbara Morgan). She is Jay's married mother's sister, but also has "Morgan" as a surname. This could mean she also married Mr. Morgan or his brother. That would have made the story more interesting, but we're told she was not married. Then, she could have simply been Jay's father's sister. Too easy. While dining on the lovely new Morgan patio, Ms. Terzo explains, "Jay took his mother's maiden name Morgan when he turned eighteen." Okay, you're snickering because Jay is clearly younger than 18 when he's called "Jay Morgan" in the opening. You should be thinking that another reason he changed his name to "Jay Morgan" is because that is what they were always calling him. Doesn't that make sense?

*** Newlywed and Dead (2016) Penelope Buitenhuis ~ Shenae Grimes-Beech, Christopher Russell, Samantha Ferris, Venus Terzo

At the end of the movie when Kirsten is congratulating her mom she was wearing the huge strand of pearls but when they walk out of the lodge to get into the vehicle she isn't wearing them. Lol

The reviews for this movie are pretty harsh considering the type of movie this is. This is a lifetime made for TV movie. That being said, I give it a 9/10.

Newlywed and Dead (TV movie 2016) 5 out of 10 stars Time to Read: 1:50 min

BEFORE WE WATCH OR RATE, LET'S UNDERSTAND MELODRAMAS: Melodramas are works with exaggerated, sensational events and characters. They are highly emotionally driven, focusing on exciting, over the top situations. Character development is NOT a feature of melodramas, instead, characters are given stereotypical roles, often the "good vs evil" type. (Thanks to -literaryterms net for the definition) This movie is a perfect melodrama, the characters are not so well defined, but their motives are. You're not supposed to take it seriously, you're supposed to take into consideration the type of art form your watching, and understand it's pure silly entertainment. It's NOT for Emmy consideration, so pop some corn, and enjoy.

BASIC PLOT: Kristin Ward (Shenae Grimes-Beech) thinks she has finally met the man of her dreams, it just so happens to be her boss, and she's only known him a short while, but she's sure Jay Morgan (Christopher Russell) is the one.

Her mother, Annie Ward (Samantha Ferris), is a deputy sheriff, and she doesn't trust Jay. He has a previous assault charge on his record, and there's something about him that's just too perfect.

She also doesn't trust the fued he's having with his aunt, Barbara Morgan (Venus Terzo), or his development plans for valley.

Can Annie convince Kristin there's something wrong with Jay, in time to save them, and maybe even the whole valley?

WHAT WORKS: *PERFECT MELODRAMATIC CHARACTERS Some of the acting is a bit wooden, but this is normal for melodramas. With this type of movie, realism is left at the door. There are good guys and bad guys, and the good guys win. Typical, made-for-tv melodrama.

*PERFECT MELODRAMATIC CASTING All of the actors and actresses look their parts - to the extreme. Example: Jay Morgan is too good looking, like Prince Charming, but is he? His henchmen has an angular face, making him look maniacal, the visual cues are over the top, as they should be in a melodrama.

*CHARACTER MOTIVATIONS ARE BELIEVABLE I never found myself kicked out of the story because a character was doing something that went against his story arc. Everybody is doing exactly what they should, at exactly the right time, and the result is an enjoyable time waster.

*THERE'S SOME NICE FILMMAKING There are some beautiful shots in this film. You could storyboard it using stills from the movie, and that means it's successful filmmaking.

WHAT DOESN'T WORK: *SOME JANKY LETTERING AND SIGNS Paradise mountain Lodge, welcome to paradise, and even the Sheriff's station, all look more than low budget - more like no budget, a color printer and a trip to Hobby Lobby.

*THE SETTING IS A FAIL "The Paradise Mountain Lodge" is obviously somebody's house. It looks like a nice ranch house, not a hotel.

TO RECOMMEND, OR NOT TO RECOMMEND, THAT IS THE QUESTION: *If you like, and understand the melodramatic art form, you'll like this. It's nothing special, but for a made-for-tv melodrama, there's very little too complain about. So if you need a couple of hours to turn your brain off, pop some corn, and enjoy.

CLOSING NOTES: *THIS IS A MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE, please keep that in mind before you watch/rate it. TV movies have a much lower budget, and so your expectations should be adjusted.

*I HAVE NO CONNECTION TO THE FILM, or production in ANY way. This review was NOT written in full, or in part, by a bot. I am just an honest viewer, who wishes for more straight forward reviews (less trolls and fanboys), and better entertainment. Hope I helped you out.

The story line is done to death. Pun pun. Really there are many cookie cutter formula movies and we take them at face value because they're not especially well written, or new story material. Some are better crafted than others, however. I mean we don't expect some mysterious plot twists for 2 hours before you figure out whodunit, but come on. The acting is horrible. The characters are all completely one sided and flat and colorless, and if there were shades of predictable, Christopher Russell makes my eyes bleed or ears, or both. Come on, writers. We don't expect War and Peace, but let's make our characters minutely more human and complex. And Shenae is so beyond dumb, every other character. AKKKK I cant even fathom the credentials of whoever wrote this drivel. If I had eaten before watching this I would have lost my lunch. Steer clear. Far clear. Far away. Do not pass go.