Leon Greene credited as playing...
Captain Miles Gloriosus
- Miles Gloriosus: Oh, her bridal bower becomes a burial bier of bitter bereavement!
- Pseudolus: Very good! Can you say "Titus the tailor told ten tall tales to Titania the titmouse"?
- Miles Gloriosus: What is she like?
- Pseudolus: A face so fair, a heart so pure - Sir, if you had been born a woman, you would have been she!
- Miles Gloriosus: As magnificent as that?
- Miles Gloriosus: You, slave, will be torn apart by horses, to the plaudits of the troops and the amusement of the children.
- Pseudolus: [to the stammering Hysterium] Calm yourself down! I'll tell you when it's time to panic!
- Miles Gloriosus: [notices the tampered hourglass] I smell mischief here!
- Pseudolus: [suddenly filled with dread] It's time.
- Miles Gloriosus: [about to leave his fiance's funeral] But first, a farewell kiss.
- Pseudolus: Of course!
- [kisses him]
- Miles Gloriosus: Not you!
- Miles Gloriosus: [singing] My bride, my bride, Come, bring to me my bride, My lust for her no longer can be denied, Convey the news, I have no time to lose, There are towns to plunder, temples to burn, and women to abuse...
- [last lines]
- Pseudolus: [sung] Lovers divided, get coincided - something for everyone...
- Hero, Philia: A comedy tonight!
- Pseudolus: Father and mother, get one another.
- Domina: Something for everyone...
- Senex: [whispers] A tragedy tonight.
- Miles Gloriosus: I get the twins, they get the best!
- Erronius: I get a family...
- Hysterium: I get a rest.
- Soldiers: We get a few girls...
- Lycus: I'll get some new girls.
- Pseudolus: I get the thing I want to be...
- Hero: [spoken] Free.
- Pseudolus: Free!
- Pseudolus, Hero, Philia, Domina, Senex, Miles Gloriosus, Erronius, Hysterium, Soldiers, Lycus: Free, free, free, free - Nothing for kings, nothing for crowns! Something for lovers, liars and clowns - What is the moral? Must be a moral. Here is the moral wrong or right - Morals tomorrow, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy, comedy - tonight!