Bradley Joseph credited as playing...
David
- Austin: Sam! Okay, I know you think that I'm just some...
- Sam: Coward? Phony?
- Austin: Okay, just listen.
- Sam: No, you listen. You turned out to be exactly who I thought you were. I never pretended to be somebody else. It's been me all along. And it was me who was hurt in front of everybody. Look, I didn't come here to yell at you, okay? I came to tell you that I know what it feels like to be afraid to show who you are. I was, but I'm not anymore. And the thing is, I really don't care what people think about me... because I believe in myself. And I know that things are gonna be okay. But even though I have no family, and no job, and no money for college... it's you that I feel sorry for.
- David: Heads up! Yo, five minutes.
- Austin: I'm coming!
- Sam: I know that guy that sent those emails is somewhere inside of you, but I can't wait for him... because waiting for you is like waiting for rain in this drought. Useless and disappointing.
- [walks away]
- Austin: SAM!
- [punches locker]
- David: [Austin is sticking ads everywhere to find his Cinderella] Dude, why are you going through all this trouble for one chick?
- Austin: Look, she's not just some chick, all right? She was real.
- Ryan: Real. Like, she still had her old nose?
- Austin: No, real. The kind of girl who has more on her mind than what she wears, or how much weight she wants to lose. She listens to me, you know?
- David: Listens yo you? Hey, brother, I listen to you, okay? I feel your pa...
- [gets distracted by a girl passing by, then talks to the girl]
- David: ...Hello, kitty!
- Austin: Yeah, you're a great listener.
- David: Well...
- Ryan: Look, man, you found her cellphone. You just gotta get some clue from that.
- Austin: The phone's locked. All I keep getting's these text messages like, "I need you", and "Come see me now."
- David: Oh dude, it's so hot.
- Austin: See, that's what I thought. Until I got one that said, "Come fix fryer".
- David: Oh, dude, that's hot AND kinky, baby! You know what I'm saying? Can I get one? Let me get a pound, baby.
- Austin: [looks at David disapprovingly]
- Shelby: [Shelby and her friends are looking at the menu, looking what they want to eat] Why do I have the feeling that I won't be able to get a Zone Meal here?
- Madison: I already ate.
- David: Madison, laxatives don't qualify as a food group. Surprised you didn't know that.
- Shelby: [to David] Stop it!
- [sees Sam coming toward them]
- Shelby: Well! If it isn't Diner Girl!
- Sam: [reluctantly taking Shelby's order] What can I get you guys?
- Shelby: What can I get here that has no sugar, no carbs, and is fat free?
- Sam: Water.
- Ryan: [Shelby smirks at Sam nastily, as the boys laugh] Water? Feisty!
- Madison: [Madison looks at Sam, confused] Was that supposed to be a joke?
- Austin: [chuckling] It was funny!
- Shelby: [smirks at Sam and orders her drink] I'll have a Voss.
- Sam: [looking at Shelby, confused] Excuse me?
- Caitlyn: [scoffing at Sam] It's water. From Norway?
- Shelby: [to her friends and Austin's friends laughing] She's the worst!
- [scoffs]
- Shelby: [to Shelby] Sorry, we only have water from the Valley.
- Shelby: Oh. Well, then I'll have an iced tea.
- David: [Sam jots it down on the notepad] Make that two!
- [to Sam, as a joke]
- David: And you know, I'm still waiting on that breakfast burrito, Diner Girl!
- Madison: [Shelby's friends and Austin's friends laugh at Sam as she gets the drinks. Madison shoos her away] See ya!
- Shelby: [about Sam] She is *so* not getting a tip!
- Austin: [turning to Shelby] Shelby, we really need to talk... privately.
- Shelby: Anything you say to me, you can say in front of my peeps.
- [Madison and Caitlyn, as well as Ryan and David lean forward to hear what Austin has to say]
- Austin: Okay.
- [Shelby looks at Austin]
- Austin: I want to break up.
- Shelby: [shocked at the fact Austin is dumping her] What?
- David: [about the breakup] Ouch!
- Caitlyn: [Madison is shocked] That was harsh!
- Shelby: [to Austin, asking why he dumped her] Are you in love with somebody else?
- Austin: [smiling] I think so!
- Caitlyn: [to Austin] No way!
- Ryan: [to Austin] What? Who, bro?
- Austin: [to Ryan] I don't know.
- [to Shelby, with the "Just friends" speech]
- Austin: But we can still be...
- Shelby: [points her finger at Austin, warning him not to say it] *Don't* say the word "friends"! Now, fortunate for you, I'm gonna... overlook this mental breakdown of yours. Look, just chill out, we're gonna get ready for the dance, and; I'll see you there. Hmm?
- [Shelby and her friends leave the table]
- Ryan: [to Shelby and her friends] Later. Late!
- David: [amazed he did that to Shelby] That went well, bro!
- Ryan: No, she took it well!
- Austin: Good looking out.
- David: [Austin and his friends leave the table. David says to Sam] Later, Diner Girl!
- Ryan: [to Sam] Too late!
- Sam: [Austin is about to give Sam a tip, but she dismisses it as she comes back with the drinks] Oh, don't worry about it.
- Rhonda: [Sam comes back to Rhonda and puts the iced teas on the bench]
- [Rhonda refers to Shelby and her friends]
- Rhonda: You know, those kids remind me of why I used to fight in school.
- David: [at the Halloween party, David is trying to hit on Shelby, after Austin dumped her] 'Sup girl?
- Shelby: [cringing] What are you supposed to be?
- David: A Three Musketeer.
- Shelby: You don't look like a candy bar!
- David: Right. Look, now that you and Austin are toast, OK, why don't *we* have our *own* little party?
- Shelby: [disgusted] Ewww! Back off, David!
- David: [trying to push Shelby into kissing her] Come on, Shelby! I know you like me!
- Shelby: [Shelby is being pushed by David] No, stop it! No! No, stop it! *Stop*!
- Carter: [Carter as Zorro, pushes in between Shelby, trying to stop David] The lady said, "Stop"!
- David: [to Carter] Oh yeah?
- Carter: Yeah!
- David: [takes Carter's costume sword] Gimme that!
- [snapping the sword in half as Carter mutters "Oh God!"]
- David: I think I just saw your life flash before your eyes!
- Carter: [going past Shelby, trying to run away] Oh yeah? Well, did you see the part where I run away?
- [throws the sword at David, then climbs on top of the stage railing, flips his Zorro hat, whips his hat then jumps down. Pause]
- Carter: That was awesome!
- David: [to Carter from distance] Oh, you're dead, Taco Boy!
- Carter: [Carter flips his hat to two girls] Ladies.
- David: [chasing Carter] You're MINE!
- Carter: [saying to several people trying to get them out of the way] Move over please!
- David: [David has cornered Carter at the bar] Whoo-whoo! It's over dude!
- Carter: Oh yeah?
- Carter: Yeah!
- Carter: Well I hate to tell you this, "dude"; but I starred in Pirates of Penzance three summers in a row!
- David: Oh yeah?
- Carter: [preparing to open the bar door] Say hello to Act 2, Scene 1!
- [Carter opens the door, with Shelby running toward Carter, her new hero; as a pumpkin flies through the air and lands on top of his head. Shelby whispers to Carter in his ear and Carter smiles and nods]
- Madison: [noticing Carter's car lingering, and Sam and Carter hanging around] Eww!
- [pointing to Shelby]
- Madison: Stalkerazzi at 3 o'clock.
- Shelby: [Shelby scoffs and then speaks through the megaphone] The White Zone is for cool people only.
- [shaking her head]
- Shelby: No geeks!
- [Shelby winks at Sam and Carter as Caitlyn & Madison giggle to themselves]
- David: [to Sam] Hey, uh, Diner Girl; can I get a breakfast burrito to go? Thank you.