The 12 Disasters of Christmas

The 12 Disasters of Christmas (2012)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Really stupid movie has a girl (Magda Apanowicz) learning that she's the "chosen one" and must collect five rings to prevent the Mayan prediction of the world coming to an end from happening. Along with her father (Ed Quinn) the two try and capture the rings while avoiding earthquakes, tornadoes, ice spears and other disasters. THE 12 DISASTERS OF Christmas should have been so much fun but instead it's just one long, boring mess of a film that takes itself way too serious. Add in the totally unbelievable special effects and you've got another worthless movie that people turn into SyFy for each Saturday. I actually thought this one here had a pretty interesting story but it soon struck me that the "end of the world" wasn't really the "end of the world" because all of the events were just taking place in this one small hick town. It's also pretty hard to be scared of anything you're watching when the special effects are so poor that you can't help but roll your eyes. This is especially true during the scenes where people are freezing and the ice spears really aren't any better. The performances are about average for this type of picture but you really can't blame them too much considering the screenplay. THE LORD OF THE RINGS is another obvious "inspiration" but director Steven R. Monroe (I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE) just can't bring any life to the material.

12 disasters that are beacons of the end of times. But they ALL happen in a little town that no one ever heard of and almost no one goes to???

The key stone of any ... EVERY ... quality SciFi and horror movie is the 'suspension of disbelief'. The script and actors have to support this to ensure the audience gets drawn in and STAYS in the framework of the movie. And yet, they never once provide a sufficient explanation of why the whole world depends on a little town out in the middle of nowhere ... that didn't even exist when the architects of the prophecy was created. Come on, if you can't cover the basics do not expect a good rating.

Yes, the film crew seemed to know what they were doing and the acting was actually good But without a solid story your audience is going to drift in and out of the experience, and ultimately have a negative experience.

The 12 Disasters of Christmas is a Christmas-themed disaster movie from the SyFy Channel that attempts to emulate the same kind of Mayan prophecy disaster nonsense as in the big bucks Hollywood movie 2012. Except, of course, the filmmakers have a budget of about $3.60, so attempting to convey world-scale events on a tiny budget was always going to be a challenge. No surprise that they make a pig's ear of it.

This Canadian movie was helmed by Steven R. Monroe, no stranger to the B-movie genre having already made the likes of ICE TWISTERS and the I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE remake. Religious nonsense provides a backdrop to the otherwise familiar action, which sees a family trio pursued by twelve different disasters: they are forced to flee from freezing ground, invisible force fields, icicle showers, and other assorted mayhem. None of it makes much sense and it goes without saying that the CGI effects are so utterly poor as to be completely laughable.

Another laughable element of the film is to have the annoying female teen protagonist called Jacey and her parents Joseph and Mary. I suppose the scriptwriters thought this amounted to wit but they were mistaken, it's just very silly. The stuff with the magic ring seems to have been borrowed from THE LORD OF THE RINGS but inevitably given the low budget, the climax is based around human drama and betrayal rather than anything requiring money. Yes, it's dreadful.

It is Christmas Eve when an ominous dark star appears in the sky; could this star be a sign that Judgment Day is near...

Wow, this film is bad. On top of all the nonsense -- why did the Mayans hide all that stuff in Idaho, and why is the end of the world only happening in one city -- it was just bad on many levels, even for a film that appeared on SyFy (and changing the title to get it purchased / watched after Christmas will do nothing to save it).

Worst of all was the naming of characters as "Joseph", "Mary" and "Jacey". I mean, you could try to make it a bit more subtle by at least calling the one guy Joe, but no.

I watched this movie in Portugal. My friend was sick, so we stayed in and came across this so called movie. It's one of those movies you can't not not watch and laugh through the whole thing. The great thing about seeing it in Europe is that there is limited commercials.

Mayan rings? Really? The father, Joseph, and the mom, Mary, have a daughter named Jacey??..JC....seriously??? and a son named Peter? There's even a "Jude" who betrays the holy family! Oh, and Kane...I was waiting for Abel to show up somewhere.

I feel bad for Magda Apanowicz...I felt at one point she was thinking, "Why didn't I get that part in the Hunger Games???" If it's on, just leave on the background while your cleaning your litter box.