User reviews

This is the first time I got bored during a Jurassic movie and kept looking on my watch to see when it would be over. A lot of noise and spectacle but almost every scene a weak variation of ideas from previous films topped by the most ridiculous motivation for the heroes. The end of Jurassic World 1 promised a more interesting story. I am definitely not looking forward to another sequel.

Its as much of a non-film as I can remember. Somehow, Spielberg made a cup of water and the sound of footsteps far more suspenseful and engaging than anything in this movie. The dinosaurs are just sort of... there. Same goes for Chris Pratt, who features in scenes but only mildly forwarding the story with a few rescues or whatever. There are some cringe-worthy moments - firing a gun underwater to break glass, everyone being submersed but having perfect hair/makeup after, a horribly acted young girl who has the most shoe-horned and pointless subplot ever (as well as a nonsensical, cringe inducing climactic line). So much of the story makes no sense, a hybrid dino is basically produced and supposedly trained to follow laser sighting overnight. Yet has no buildup, suspense or point whatsoever. The whole thing is stranger than a David Lynch movie. Its like a string of bland cutscenes to a dull videogame.

This movie is so shockingly awful, it becomes unintentionally hilarious. The movie is divided into two major parts. The first half is where our heroes are trying to rescue the dinosaurs off the island before a volcano erupts killing them all. The second half is a bunch of dinosaurs being sold in a black-market auction, only to have them escape and chase people around a haunted mansion. If you can't tell from the description of those two halves, I will just tell you: This movie is insane.

I've never understood why the characters are trying to save the dinosaurs. It makes even less sense for Claire's character to be doing this. I guess they're hoping that no one remembers her character from the first movie, she might as well be playing a different person. At its core, Jurassic Park was a "Frankenstein" story. It is a cautionary tale of certain things man was not meant to create. But as opposed to trying to destroy the monster and learn from their mistake, the people keep trying to save these scientific abominations. The only man talking sense is Ian Malcom. Which, I hope you weren't expecting much Jeff Goldblum in this movie. What you see in the trailer is basically all the screen time he has in the movie.

I understand that Jurassic Park is a science fiction series, but there is some science nonsense they say in this movie that goes beyond any suspension of disbelief. And there are some truly idiotic decisions characters make that no one would be stupid enough to make. Here is a quick list of examples of dumb things that happen in the movie: 1. A dino hunter keeps a collection of dino teeth. A dinosaur pretends to be sleeping so the dino dentist will try to extract a tooth. The dino then winks at the camera and eats the fool.

2. A man asks someone to call the police on themselves. The man does not turn himself into the police and instead kills the man.

3. The scientist makes a dinosaur programmed to eat people designated by a laser pointer. If they could hit them with a laser, why couldn't they just shoot them?

4. The auctioneer shows criminals the designed dino and tells all of them that this dino isn't for sale. They were just showing them it because reasons.

I could go on. The stupidest decision happens at the end of the movie, but I won't spoil that one. Oh, how the once mighty have fallen.

I suppose kudos to the great volcano effects, but this was filmed in Hawaii, perhaps too soon.

I understand the original reboot/remake came out three years ago, but this fifth Jurassic movie felt so rushed, it might as well been part of the Star Wars Universe. I'm certain this fallen kingdom's script was written in under a weekend and never edited.

So, you liked the nostalgia from Jurassic World? Well, let's shove an unwanted ten times more down your throat. You like environmental messages? I believe you still have room to shove more down your throat. And you love that young, Spielberg-type comic relief that'll ensure laughs even in the tensest of times? Oops, sorry, the "comic relief" in this movie is criminally unfunny.

"Taking dinosaurs off this island is the worst idea in the long, sad history of bad ideas. And I'm gonna be there when you learn that," predicts Dr. Ian Malcolm from The Lost World: Jurassic Park. And, boy was he right, in many different ways, but in regards to bad ideas, take the volcano.

You seriously built the second park on a potentially island-ending volcano? Or was that just a convenient plot device for Part V...oh. Never mind.

The fourth Jurassic movie ripped off the first one, so naturally, the fifth installment would rip-off the second Jurassic sequel. It's all about the same characters tricked into going back to the island they barely survived previously and the most obvious evil businessmen who want to take the dinos off the island.

I spent a good 60% of this movie viciously shaking my head at actions/reactions that would surely never happen and even going as far as to say outloud, "Nope. Nope. Nope." I understand you should have to suspend your disbelief for a movie about genetically engineered dinosaurs, but I'm talking about the impossible stunts, simple physics and increasingly dumb mistakes no human would make but these characters did oh so frequently.

This movie was so horribly written, edited and paced, overlong to the point 20-30 minutes could've been cut, darker and yet more dumbed down for kids and not a single character stood out or had an ounce of chemistry with each other. Oh, okay, I'll give the character of Zia Rodriguez some credit. I did like her character.

And I loved the special effects in the first third, which is what you would've seen in the trailers. It's just the last two-thirds that progressively fell-apart with the worst message to give. In fact, I kept refuting that dumb environmental decision and added that to my head-shaking exercise throughout.

Well, I can say, if you're impressed with what you saw in the trailer, come, stay for the first third and just leave then. Nothing else is worth staying for.

***

Final thoughts: Can't believe I'm saying this, but Jurassic Park III is no longer the worst movie in the franchise. While III was terrible, this one is incomprehensible. III at least had direction, Fallen Kingdom certainly had fallen.

I'm not the biggest fan of Jurassic World, but at i least enjoyed it as dumb fun. Well that good will is gone with this knuckleheaded entry that makes Jurassic World look as good as the first Jurassic Park. Everyone from Chris Pratt to Blue, the annoying raptor are sleepwalking in this terrible film and this movie even manages to give Jurassic Park III, the worst film in the series a real run for its money for most annoying cast of characters in a single Jurassic movie. The ending is insulting and it's only there to set up the next film which they promise to be mercifully to be the last (Jurassic World Dominion). We will see.

Thank god Michael Crichton was not around to see and hear this garbage film. JW2 compared to Jurassic Park 3, a bad film, actually makes JP3 tolerable. The overall plot of JW2 is strangely a bad shadowy ripoff of Spielberg's The Lost World. Greedy rich man and his company want to remove dinosaurs from the island and take them to mainland where they'll eventually escape and roam wild, and it's up to a small group to stop them.

Quickly getting the pros of JW2 out of the way. Visually, this is gorgeous looking film with some incredible and memorable shots. The dinosaur with the lava pouring in, a shot similar looking to the original artwork of JP. The scary hybrid raptor in the girl's room after roaring on the rooftop. T-Rex roaring with an exploding volcano in the background. The Brachiosaurus trapped on the dock. There are several amazing visual shots in this film, and there's a few decent sequences. One of the best being the sinking tour ball in the ocean.

However, and very sadly, this ends any praise for JW2. It's all downhill from here...

The biggest problem with the film is the script. The script is not just bad, it's bigger than the pile of crap Malcolm commented on in JP. The script is so bad, it affects every single performance in the absolute worse way. There is not a single good or decent performance in this, and there are some great actors in JW2. Even Toby Jones and James Cromwell cannot give a good performance. Not their faults, because the script (dialogue and character actions) their performance is based on is trash. Isabella Sermon gives an acceptable child performance, but unfortunately her character does one of the dumbest things in the entire Jurassic series. Some actors like Justice Smith, and Daniella Pineda are so bad I would be fine without seeing them in anything ever again. Especially Smith's non-stop screaming, yelling, and all other sounds. Jeff Goldblum makes his glorious return as Ian Malcolm. For all of 3 minutes in this. This film heavily promoted Malcolm's return, and yet he has no bearing on the film. He's there just to get people interested and that's it.

The dialogue is painful, the contrivances are eye rolling, the characters make dozens upon dozens of dumb decisions it actually hurts one's brain. Our main protagonists have to once again fall in-love all over again, because seeing their "strong" chemistry form again was worth taking a second look at. The messages/themes do not work and contradict each other, outcomes are predictable. The script cannot support a 2 hour action thriller featuring dinosaurs.

Just a few examples... Old man, weak in bed, demands the person he just discovered to be a villain to retrieve the phone for him, and tells him it's so he can, "call the police on him." So painful, I almost left the movie.

Blue is shot and is dying, and Daniella Pineda says a blood transfusion will save Blue but it can only be from a two-fingered dinosaur. Movie, go home your drunk!

A demonstration is shown of a hybrid raptor being capable of carrying out commands of attacking anyone. They demonstrate this by pointing a laser on a gun at a person and the raptor goes nuts. You do not need the raptor when the laser is attached to a GUN.

Ted Levine (another really good actor) character's obsession with collecting dinosaur teeth is a terrible setup for how the hybrid raptor escapes. Sure, it is a setup with a payoff, but it's still terrible and cringe.

Clone girl releases dinosaurs upon the world where they will attack and kill countless humans. The film justifies this pure villainous act as righteous by having her say, "I had to. They're alive, like me." Get real movie!

Since the characters of JW2 are so terrible and miserable to watch and listen to, I am rooting for the dinosaurs 100 percent of the way. Even in The Lost World, I cared about the characters. Even the minor ones like Ajay, Roland's best friend, who gets killed by raptors hiding in the field of long grass. No one in JW2 is worth time and effort, because time and effort did not go into this script.

Also, stop trying to militarize dinosaurs. They would be terrible in a war against guns, missiles, planes, bombs, etc.

Jurassic World was a decent guilty pleasure, but whatever fun perks that film had going for it are derailed with JW2.

This sequel killed the series for me. The characters were horrible. The known ones were flat, the new ones were unlikeable. Was really for the movie to end before the movie left the island. This movie made me ask why was in made when there are unfunded social causes that the money could by used to fund. Should have gone to see the Incredibles.

I went into this film with low expectations, much as I did its predecessor, Jurassic World, which I quite enjoyed. It should be hard to screw up a film like this, but somehow it was managed on nearly every conceivable level. Very terrible script, mediocre to poor acting throughout, ridiculous plot points, and inaccuracies that left me slack jawed (you can't be right next to lava and just be okay (and that is but one example of many)). I know, I know, I shouldn't expect scientific accuracy in a film like this, but things were ludicrous to the point where I was actually laughing out loud in the theater at what were clearly supposed to be serious moments. I have never spent money to see so awful a movie, and it's honestly in the top ten worst movies I've ever seen. Don't waste your money on this dumpster fire.

Made the last effort look good, Supremely clumsy in execution with an escalated plot and many an overdone dinosaur cliche with attempts to tug at the heart-strings for good measure. Leaving you asking "but why?" for the duration of this 2 hour film.

Chris Pratt's quips fall flat and unfortunately fail to distract you from the inane dialogue. The "chemistry" between Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard is still very much cringeworthy.

If this is deemed one of the better films for 2018 thus far by IMDb, it truly is a concern the film industry. If you insist on going seeing this film, check your brain at the door.

The first Jurassic World wasn't anything original, but I found it to be decent and I would still recommend it to fans of the franchise. It's the second best one in the franchise for sure which isn't saying much as nearly every sequel to the original is utter garbage. But this movie, good lord this is a train wreck. The script is so bad, like, SHOCKINGLY awful. It lacks any genuine thrills and since this is a Jurassic Park movie, that's terrible. It repeats the same boring love story from the first Jurassic World and Chris Pratt isn't as charming as he usually is which is just straight up sinful. The CGI and effects are very good, but that's really the only upside to this broken dumpster fire. It has a stupid and awful script, bad characters, mediocre acting, a moronic twist and it lacks any thrills or decent attempts at humour. This is easily one of the worst Jurassic Park movies and shows us that this franchise is doomed and will never be as good as the first one, which still holds up tremendously to this very day.

The start of the movie was actually quite fun and fast paced. Then it turned into boring, predictable and drawn out. The dialogue was bland and poorly written with lots of added cliches.

Another gripe was with the female scientist character. You can make a strong female character without her being a bitch full of attitude. Love that they are putting more females in films but give them cool personalities, not all strong intelligent women are assholes.

Overall a disappointing movie.

Shouldn't of even made this. It's a stupid movie idea. Sort of like the second one with the hunters going to the island to hunt the dinosaurs. Probably why Sam Neil didn't do it. It's just a waste for 2:08 minutes. Sad parts dinosaurs dying on the island. Stupid at the end. Now we're going to have dinosaurs running all over the planet. Really? C'mon is that your story? Well it sucks.

More mindless unoriginal drivel. Stupid. Idiotic. Predictable. Indicative of the people who inhabit this nation.

It throws logic and rational human behavior out the window. Plenty of movies do that, and at least you can say the movie was entertaining - but this? It was not entertaining.

This movie is an excellent example of how Hollywood has been on the warpath with its own reputation for the past five years.

Its so weird and stupid one questions if it is really the creators intent to mock its audience.

The characters are as dumb as they are unlikeable together with a script with bad pacing and this disgusting, morbid timing of unwanted comic relief that seems to be aimed at 6 year old's in a movie that has body parts flying about and monsters eating people alive.

The writers of this movie should be ashamed.

The plot drags on with these lazy and poorly written scenes with dialog that make you cringe to your core.

All to often the writers need something to happen for the story to go on but they dont want to spend time figuring out something smart and interesting that makes sense, so they just go with something stupid that just happens for no reason. Leaving enormous plot holes to make the viewers brains hurt.

Its so sad to see that yet another classic franchise hitts the dust because of Hollywood prioritizing fast returns in lue of long term excellence.

I went into this with an open mind, just looking for something to watch on a Tuesday night. Its bad....its really bad. Not even Chris Pratt could save this one. And all the 10 star reviews that when you click on their profile and they have only ever reviewed one thing in yeaaars of being on here and it was this steamer??? Makes me start to question IMDBs integrity. Hated the movie, and no longer trust this websites reviews.

Considering the last movie was the best Jurassic movie yet, this one was very disappointing. I left the movie half way through. No plot at all and way too political on animal rights. Where we the scary dinosaurs?!

Really, there is nothing new here. New dino you say? Well , there was a new one in the third. New one in the forth. Wasn't there a new one in the second one too? I'm lost. They're so repetitive now. Evil poachers? Military? Evil corp? Annoying children that don't add to the film. It's the same ole story with a different setting. And tired of seeing the T-rex save everyone at the last minute to get his money shot roar in. Anyone caught in the flow of lava and dust as the main stars were in, they would have died in the first 20 minutes of the movie. But they survive. And survive again. and survive again and again and again when they should be dead. This is Mindless entertainment and not the educated well written first movie in the series that if expanded upon like in this case, should have continued with the brilliance and integrity of the first. But as in this movie... money talks, so let's just shoot a fast quick popcorn flik to play on the nostalgia of the original movie. I got bored half way through. Was able to predict every other scene after that, and the last 20 minutes was just god awful to sit through knowing you've seen it all before and then some.

When I went home after watching this movie in a theater yesterday, I couldn't believe it would have an average 7 on this site. This movie hands hown, is one of the hottest piles of garbage made in Hollywood. Predictable and boring plot, characters who make absolutely the dumbest decisions, which for some reason work due to deus ex machina, villains straight out of the old comicbooks, and on top of that - a mediocre at best action. It honestly failed to even be what I supposed it would be - a dumb but entertaining dinosaur movie. If you like movies that are "so bad they're good" - maybe go and see it for yourself, I did laugh a couple of times because of the movie's stupiduty - but I wouldn't encourage anyone to give their money to such lackluster projects.

Nothing new, everything was extremely trivial, starting from the evil on one side and the good on the other side. Usual plot "scream and run". It was boring. The script has probably been written in one single rainy afternoon.

Yawn. So predictable and and mostly a waste of money. At least the popcorn at my local theatre was fresh.

Jurassic World was an awful movie and Fallen Kingdom is even worse.

The plot is dumb, the villain sucks and most of the characters are terrible.

I especially hated the new characters in this movie.

They were annoying, whiny, generic and just so boring. One of the new characters they introduced was named Franklin and goodness grief did he get on my nerves (oh look at me I'm good with computers, my jokes are unfunny and I whine about everything). This movie would have been a 3/10 without him. He was such a useless character.

The first part when they were on the island was pretty fun but the movie went downhill FAST after that part and never recovers.

This was such a pointless movie. AVOID