Jurassic World: Il dominio

I will say this for Colin Trevorrow: unlike other Hollywood writers/directors, who seem to be actively spiteful towards the classic sagas they are writing sequels to, when Trevorrow says he is a fan of Jurassic Park, I believe him.

That's why Jurassic World Dominion feels, for good and for ill, like the world's most expensive fan film, cramming in nearly every dinosaur known to man and every character, meme and in-joke from the previous five movies (button up your shirt, Malcom! Get your hat, Grant! Oh look, Nedry's old Barbasol can!).

I'm betting that if the great Pete Postlethwaite had not passed away we would have gotten Roland Tembo rappelling from a helicopter to shoot an Oviraptor in the face.

The movie is at least twenty minutes too long - Hollywood seems incapable to make a non-bloated blockbuster today, even Bond movies have the running time of The Thin Red Line - and it doesn't have a shred of the wit and intelligence of my beloved first Jurassic Park, but I did like a few set-pieces (the Therizinosaurus, the frozen lake...) and it's always nice to see the awesome Sam Neill back, so I guess the fan bait worked to an extent.

5,5/10.

It's just amazing that no dinosaur hasn't bitten it off yet. In what promises to be the conclusion to the series, all the main cast members of the previous shows are here. "Alan Grant....... Ellie Sattler", I actually liked the new characters. DaWanda Wise and Mamoudou Athie better than the old ones - they are the only ones that come out of this unscathed. The special effects are, as expected, first class although really? A Gigilomopoloposaurus??? - they just keep getting bigger (the dinosaurs AND the names). Not sure that it's worth the Hollywood Blvd/Times Sq ticket prices ($20+) , but it's an okay way to spend a summer afternoon. I think tho, I'd wait til next weekend when the crowds will be 65% less.

Before I went to this film (because my Grandson is nuts about this series of films) I read one newspaper review. It wasn't glowing, but it was positive. Unfortunately, this is a mess. Others have already talked about the issues I have. Granted, this is an empty headed summer movie, it could still have been done with some serious thought. I was hanging in there throughout with a new dinosaur attack every three minutes, and velociraptors going at fifty miles per hour and not getting tired. Humans being assaulted time after time and yet showing no fatigue. I also didn't see a scratch on any of them. But the best of all was the promise made to a baby dinosaur and his mother that precluded saving the world from famine. Not to mentioned the coincidences of everyone showing up in just the right places. I still don't understand how they got into that facility so easily. The return of the original cast was not helpful other than Jeff Goldblum's sarcasm. Anyway, it's all been said. This is a poor movie.

This movie consists mostly of us watching previously known characters doing whatever theyre doing now, meandering nowhere plot wise, while getting in random tight spots . For some reason they believed fans want to see a repeat of 1st movie and its characters instead of a new quality story and interesting content. Also EVERY SINGLE tight spot they find themselves in with dinosaurs is same formula.

Its always exactly as it has been in every Jurassic film. Big problem all of a sudden, slow moving dino watching someone or breathing around them, then dino gives chase, uff! They barely escaped but escape they did!

It is so dull and predicatable.

Meanwhile we meet two new types of characters, a) those who are just inherently evil b) those who do evil stuff but are really good and moral. You can tell them apart easily by looking at what theyre wearing and whether its a rich straight white guy.

The story is dumb and their evil plan so on the nose it is humorous. Zero imagination when writing the script. The length of it fits on half a napkin.

After 80% of the movie is finished and we have gone over the revisiting our "favourite" Jurassic characters and our classic Jurassic scenes phase, the predictable ending occurs.

And you realize the movie was as a wonderful and full of quality content as a dino fart.

If I were to list out all the things this movie focuses on, dinosaurs would be fifth or sixth, behind multiple storylines that range from bland to useless. I'm baffled by how little focus is on dinosaurs. And I don't just mean they are barely onscreen. The original Jurassic Park barely had any for the first hour. But everything leading up to that, the story, dialogue and themes, were all focused on dinosaurs.

That's not the case with Dominion. The majority of the storylines are tangentially related at best, completely unrelated at worst. Imagine watching Taken but Liam Neeson has to watch out for dinosaurs... that's one storyline. You could replace dinosaurs with any scary creatures and it would make little difference to the plot.

On top of that, they did a poor job of balancing so many storylines with different characters. Or maybe it's because every single one is uninteresting. And the moment when the different characters come together falls completely flat. I compare it to Stranger Things, when the stories converge and the crew is finally together, those moments are so impactful and exciting. They feel earned and elevate everything after. In Dominion, you don't feel any kind of magic.

Some parts were so bad they made me cringe or roll my eyes. But that wasn't the case for the majority of the movie. So why such a harsh score? Because this movie, which is the definition of a popcorn flick here to entertain us, is unbelievably boring. I had 8 hours of sleep last night and drank a Red Bull, yet I was struggling to stay awake. I had to un-recline.

All of the action scenes are forgettable. Literally. It's only been a few hours and I can remember maybe a couple cool moments. And one thing I couldn't believe, the climax action sequence is straight-up copied from one of the previous movies. I won't say which one, but I'm baffled they went this route. It's even sadder when you realize it's worse than what it copied in every way.

As for the dinosaur effects, at times the animatronic dinosaurs look like toys. And the CGI dinosaurs look a bit off. I don't think it's poor CGI but something about it doesn't feel right.

I am so disappointed this is what they gave us for their self-proclaimed "epic conclusion of the Jurassic era." Especially after Fallen Kingdom left us with such an exciting cliffhanger, the chaos that awaits the people of the world when dinosaurs are unleashed upon them. That's not at all what we get.

I loved the first Jurassic World. And while the second is highly flawed, it's still entertaining and filled with tension and suspense. I felt none of that with Dominion. (1 viewing, opening Thursday UltraScreen 6/9/2022)