Blackbird

The film if you want to call it that is absolutely awful from start to finish! I was really looking forward to this film as I am a fan of Michael Flatley. It is actually more of a vanity project than a film to be honest. The story is weak, the cast are clearly there for the money without bringing an ounce of character to the screen, the effects are subpar & the lead is wholly unbelievable as a character. Just don't waste your time or money on this lame duck. The sooner it's gone from my memory the better.

I'd avoid this tripe like the plague. It's definitely on par with Cats. Just really a terrible whatever it is. Awful.

The strangest thing about Michael Flatley's 90-minute animated selfie is how dated it is. A sort of action-free action remake of Casablanca is one thing, but Flatley hasn't moved on (in 2018) from servile magic black men, skinny women whose job is simply to appear nearly naked, high-stakes Texas hold'em (ffs that was old in 1999), and indeterminately Middle Eastern bad guys.

Eric Roberts can't seem to manage his teeth, the hotel singer cannot speak intelligibly - I don't think this is a disability-opportunity casting - and never mind Flatley's stupid hats; he must have been measured for his clothes before a particularly self-indulgent Christmas.

Like Claude Rains channelling William Shatner as depicted by George Galloway.

If it was fast-moving, it might be approaching hilariously bad, but it's slower than a wer Sunday in Rosscarberry.

I watched this film on line a few days ago and really struggled to watch it all the way through, though I did spend some of the time playing a card game on my phone.

It is essentially a series of poorly executed cliches more stolen than 'based upon' old movies. The acting ranges from disinterested to awful and the experience left me surprised that I couldn't even laugh at it. Just bad.

I note that 5 reviews award it 10/10. Mmmm. I quite liked the Austin Powers movies, but I hadn't realised they were masterpieces until I half-watched this.

I hadn't realised until afterwards that Mr Flatley had produced this as a sort of 'vanity project', but that does go some way to explaining the inexplicable heroism and misogynism on display here.

Directed by Michael Flatley, written by Michael Flatley, produced by Michael Flatley, financed by Michael Flatley and starring Michael Flatley as Victor Blackley.

I so much wanted to love this film, I came into it with high hopes of cheesy one liners, over-the-top action, a classic plot straight from the 80's and all set in Ireland, but it is neither of those, just a pretty lame film all round. An ego trip.

Victor Blackley (Michael Flatley) is an ex secret agent belonging to a group called the Chieftains, he now runs a speak easy in the Caribbean. All round bad guy Blake (Eric Roberts) enters his establishment to do a dodgy deal with terrorists that could destroy all mankind, on his arm is Vivian (Nicole Evans) a former fling of Victors. Will Blackley be able to save the world and his girl?

Apart from Michael Flatley's 300 grand entries. It's really 80 mins of peacocking, postering, posing, smiling, old men and hot young women. Oh, and 5 mins of action near the end.

The plot is weak, so much doesn't make sense and comes across as an ego enhancer. You spend 70 mins not knowing where it is going, only to be disappointed when it gets there. The dialogue is poorly written. I feel Flatley had too much hands on and maybe should of let someone else take the reigns because it had the bones of a great action flick in there somewhere.

Without bad mouthing Michael Flatley too much, his acting is decent and he can rock a hat, unlike Patrick Bergin who seems to have just shown up for a pay check. The others do what they have to along with Eric Roberts as always. Possibly the stand outs are Ian Beattie as Nick and the beautiful Nicole Evans.

All and all a few laughs at the plot choices, but feels like a 150 min film, rather than 90 mins. Some of the scenic settings are great and you could watch the mesmerising Mary Louise Kelly as Madeleine all day. Avoid the cinema, watch it at home with a few beers with the lads. It might get more laughs that way. With all that I'm still looking forward to the sequel.

For the cheesemeisters: During the showdown, when Blackley goes off screen to beat up a few bad guys is like something from Looney Tunes.

I really agreed to watch this because I like Eric Roberts - or I have. Previously. I guess he was suffering from the lack of work post-Covid. I don't know why else he would take this junk on. He, alas, could not begin to redeem it.

A good friend was a top tech on one of Flatley's productions, and told me about his experience in great detail. I won't go into the most sordid bits, as the man is ill. Suffice it to say, Flatley has an ego the size of Australia, showcased in this ill-conceived vanity piece. Only a pubescent boy could possibly think that this is good filmmaking. Thin plot badly written, worse editing, and ridiculously unnecessary hats. I'm embarrassed for Eric Roberts. He can do better, so I gave it two stars.